THE THREE SELFLESSLY-AMAZING THINGS THAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU LATELY (1) I lifted you back up from the bottom of the Grand Canyon after you fell into it, hitting the bottom at two hundred miles an hour. (2) I bought rock-hard **** implants for you after yours got banged up badly on the canyon cliff rocks. (3) I made passionate love to your sister to ease her mind because she was ****** up in the head very badly before I jumped her bones in the Subaru when nobody was looking.