and here is where He told me i ruined
most days spent together wrapped
in a thick blanket of mutual
disgust, where i am the reason for such misery and
where i found myself to
be the biggest burden in the life of a smallest man
who had ever lived a life parallel to mine. and here,

where the river ends, so did my feeling of uncertainty; and the dynamic that
never served me. which is also here,
i find myself where we once
stood with my dog at my side.
now i hold an empty leash, once tethered to a companion that no longer exists except within my memories.
sometimes they’ll ****** out like tiny flashes of terror and lightness
and fruitfulness. this is how i
i know He never stood inside my love.

i walked a few miles by myself and
learned to let go of the leash.
there will no longer be fingers grasping for what i thought was once tangible. these limbs now stretch out reaching for something

much greater.