I am stupidly happy and don’t know why
It’s a quiet happiness, the kind I haven’t felt in years
The kind I forgot existed
The air is humid and the sky is grey and the rain is falling
And I must be wicked, or privileged, or stupid to be this happy
I must be selfish, delirious, solipsistic
I must be blind to everyone’s suffering

And anyway, I’m procrastinating studying for a test
While sitting alone in silence
I am nostalgic, sad, wistful, lonely
Cruel hurt misunderstood misunderstanding
And happy.
Stupidly happy.

I love you. Yes, you reading this.
You.