muffled
were all the things i said
for it wielded hurt,
it was draped in poetic pain
no matter the season
and swarmed with a repulsive passion
i cannot love you for your wings
i want the scars, your scars
or the cut open bled out
parts of you
that i can resuscitate with every last of the air within me

or the ones that still bleed too
and i ll drink them dry when
i can't heal them
i will grow you wings
i will chew into the living and dead and angels and gods
i would eat the unborn
i would possess the dead
to feed it to you just so you can fly
just so you know me
see me

but **** i am tired,
i thought it was just my mind
but no i am old
so many centuries lived trying to
match and compete and triumph over myself
in being able to love,
in being able to know
do i have anything more left to give you?
no i will have to pretend like i do
which i cannot
so i don't know