The number grows but
I still can't tell if I am whole.
Every day is nearly the same
until it's simply not.

Even family changes or moves on.
No one is safe in the long run,
Not the encountered stranger,
the acquaintance or friends...

Nobody knows when they'll meet their end,
and it scares me.
I don't like the YOLO philosophy,
but here I am again, pondering.

I'm trying to make sense of everything
I'm wondering what exactly I need...
What can help me be happy?
I wouldn't say I'm ashamed but my past is embarrassing?

I guess I'll continue and just keep going
I'll keep trying my best,
For as long as I can,
I'll try to get through this