Sometimes,
when the shadows rise,
and lips spread wide
giving me a glimpse
of the otherside
of what might
be love,

I pretend
this is just my next friend
and tell myself
she is probably a lesbian,
that way I do not bother
risking any hope.
That way I can cope
by rationalizing away
any opportunity
to get my heart broke.

It is easy to be me
without adding the complexity
of hoping she may love me.
So, I can just be
her next nerdy buddy.