His name is actually Felito
It isn't really Ted
He got it from his mother
At least that's what he said

Growing up in Texas
Such a nerdy, geeky boy
Now a Republican with boots
Dreaming of all he can destroy

Ay Felito! You can't carpet bomb civilians
We'll knock you on your ***
Felito Cruz means "Happy Little Cross"
But Ted, You Shall Not Pass!