You told me to throw them away
Get rid of all the extra pills
And when you said that,
I nodded,
But in my heart I realized
I have a problem

Those bottles are my insurance
My backup plan
In case things get too bad
I want them close
Within reach
I want them to remain an option

I’ve approximated their quantities
Guessed the effects
Tried to research
But to no avail

I just... I have this problem
I want hurting myself to remain an option
If I need it
If it comes to that
I want to know I can

And I don’t think that’s good....