I am not my house
though my efforts
my love
made it a home
my children are not
a reflection or extension of me
yet I am their mother
and with love I have tried
to guide them
gently
I am not my possessions
my career
nor my successes
yet they reflect
an intrinsic part
of my nature
I am not defined
by the loves I have known
but I strive to live my life
with love
with kindness
with gentle care
I am not natures beauty
I see all around me
but a small piece of her
lives inside me
I am not the hurt child
or the abhorrent things
that stole my childhood
yet through that pain and loss
I learnt the meaning
of strength
of resilience
of letting go
letting go
of hurt ego
I am not what is seen
through my lovers eyes
nor what he feels
through his touch
though he teaches me
that I am worthy of love
I am not a wife(success?)
I am not a divorcée (failure?)
I am not the broken bones
at my husbands hands
or the wires in my jaw
to put it back together
Or defined by two gold bands
I am not an orphan
though I have no parents
I am my own mother
I am my own daughter
I am my own sister
I am not all the wonderful
people I am lucky to have met
yet
they all gave to me
a part of themselves
to carry with me forever

I am not the words that I write
the images I capture
In the open/close
of the aperture.

I am not
the love I have known
the pain I have endured
the horrors I survived
the billions of laughs I have had
the rivers of tears I have wept
the endless hours I have slept
the endless hours I have chased sleep
or the dreams I have dreamt
not the sheer joy I have felt
or the deep grief for lost loved ones
I am a conglomerate
of all of my experiences in life
good bad happy sad
I am not static
I an fluid
I am changing
with each new
transformative experience
I am a work in progress

J.C. honey-tiger 28/07/2019