As I gaze out, as I peer
Inconsequential, infant fears
Of petulance in every mirror
As agony grows ever near
As groans of surplus renegade
Emotions made to separate
Invocation resonates
But constipation iterated
Articulation dominated
Sentry fire of retrograde abominations
Aptly aimed at insecure infatuations
Toward a higher instigation

Where elation loses patience
Only minds can ease in latency
To be deceived, time after time
By mischief of the darkest kind
My own retention in-sublime

Though everywhere I turn
I find many options to be learnt
I find my bridges ever burnt
But not by me, my heart exerts
A longing for companionship
And loneliness will ever hurt
Until I reach abandonment
Until they see no more of me
Until they hate my every ounce of self
My every whim, desire, my needs
It threatens their securities
Indeed, I am burdensome
They see me as a mist, because I come and go
But never leave a trace or reason
They see me as a cyst,
because I linger ever growing, ever taking
They see me as a waste of space
with no haste to change pace
They want me erased, and I know why

Without proper alibi,
I have to reason to survive
I stretch emotions, time to time
to make ends meet and feel alive

But inside, ever, I will die,
consistently, and over again
Each time I sin
to retire my insignificance,
get high and make the most of it

Just to forget the ****
they admit to my indifference
Rip from it all instances of failure
to make clear my selfishness

I'm fading, and I can't turn to them
They don't believe I'm even sane,
so what's the point?

Who's playing games, here?
I'm just trying to maintain my happiness
before I explode