That was my theory.  I had three psychologists
at once. A couple of them saw me for free. I was that
interesting. They would have paid me to come. I wasn’t
dumb. I knew how to play the system. I started dating

the one named Jim. There was so much psychologically
wrong with him that I gave him over to my other psychologist
Rick. Jim insisted that we go as a couple as well. So now
I was seeing Rick for therapy alone, as well as seeing him

for couple’s counselling with Jim. It was so surreal
having two of my psychologists in the same room! One of them  
I was dating! I was also seeing a third. And brought Jim
to him too! It doesn’t get more absurd than this. And I was married,

no less! And doing couple’s counselling with two
psychologists and my other one, who was now my
boyfriend. Did I lose you; I know it’s confusing. I don’t write
fiction because I couldn’t make this stuff up if I try. But I’m not

going to lie. It was purely amusing! Jim sat there next to me
fondling his pen, rubbing the shaft over and again as if
it was *******. He was ******* the pen in my therapist’s office, which was now his therapist too. And seeing him squirm

on the couch as my other therapist sat across from us
looking as if this kinda stuff happens all the time was
sublime. Psychologists are the most messed up people
I know. I love each and every one of them all!