I'm not exactly in pain
I'm not exactly hurting
I'm just here
In this strange, surreal state
Where nothing feels quite right
I don't know if I'm fine
I honestly might be
But I have this nagging
That makes me wonder...
I've spent so much energy
On faking smiles
For so **** long
That I can't tell them
Apart from happiness
I want to believe I'm fine
But I also
Want to be in absolute shambles
And I'm not really sure
What I'm supposed to do about that