It's so strange
These thoughts that plague me
They seem to be so real
For a little while
I just want to drown myself
In their darkness
I want to lose all composure
I want to dwell in thoughts of dangerous pleasures
Then I wonder
Am I in control?
Do I choose the darkness?
Or am I really a victim of it?
Am I relapsing
Or am I choosing to relive my past?
I don't know
And sometimes I hope I'm a victim
And sometimes I hope it's just me.