i was sitting in the back of the bus today
and i was okay
or at least as okay as i will ever be
then it hit me
i have no one
not my mother
not my father
not my brothers
not my sisters
not the people at work
or the people at school
not this website
not even myself sometimes
i have no one to talk to
and that is why i am so miserable
when i cry
they never notice
when i leave
they don't care
if i disappeared
it take days for them to consider my absence
no one loves me
and they can't love me
until i love them
and i'm not sure i can do that anymore
or that i ever was
and that is why i am miserable
i've never felt so empty
but there are benefits i guess
to having yourself as your only friend
i can never leave me
i can never lie
but it *****
keeping it all to myself
because i see all these happy people
and i wonder what it is like
to actually say how you feel
without holding something back
and that is why i am miserable
i want i want i want i want
but sometimes i need
i know the only reason i am miserable is me
maybe if i was a bit more normal
things wouldn't feel so hard
but have you ever just got fed up
with the people around you
and just walked off because you could
i am not patient
maybe that is why i am miserable
and i am so tired of being ignored
till i have something people need
i wanna work by myself all the time
because people always ignore what i say
they basically ignore me all the time
even when they are trying to include me
i just feel so invisible
maybe that is why i am miserable
but this list could go on
and on
and on
lord knows my anxiety has no end
but does it really matter
no one really cares
i just feel so ******* broken
this is a call for help
a something i just can't describe
i've never been this miserable