'Leaning'
a word
that unsettles
can't I stand
on MY own?

a leading-on
towards something
that's not myself?

is it fear
desperation
doubt
a need
restlessness
confusion
hopelessness?


holding on to
a doctrine
a dogma
an idea
a cause
a leader
an advisor
a teacher
a benefactor?

bewildered
lonely and lost
it does seem
akin to submitting
to a power external
with no faith
in my strength internal--

throw away
I must
the crutch
of false comfort
that would render
me smaller
than what
I am
or could be
only then
would I recover
all that I've lost
and from
the highest mountain
look down
upon the world
and all the people around
and shout
clear and loud:
I am my own Ulysses
even sailing under
the wildest sea
and the darkest cloud
I am the invincible me
leaning on nothing--finally
I score my self-defining victory!