friends understanding
not all the time
people think i am alright
because i have no siblings

i want hugs from people but i am too uncomfortable
i want help from someone like me
friends laugh when i am serious because i am shorter
no one know the things i do
my cousin who is my best friend has started talking to me
   less
          and
                less
she has been the friend i needed
she has stood up for me
showed me many things
only to leave

my new friend is funny and makes me smile
he is my crush now
now he has stopped talking to me

my friends make fun i just feel childish and annoying as i sit alone only to watch and listen to the conversations around only to make judgements about myself many friends think i'm alright since i'm alway like this

             what is happening?

my friends don't deserve to be involved
all i can do is hope i keep forgetting

  my eyes torture me as i see my crush is smiling
and it was caused by someone who isn't me
i feel empty i could only keep it in