Forced to hold something in
Never to talk about it
Try and forget it
Asking yourself “did it really happen” or “am I making all of this up”
Simply because you can’t remember all the details
Eating away at you from the inside out, but never revealing the scars
Even if there is no physical scars to show
The scars are there, they are deep
Trying to heal yet get ripped open at the slightest remembrance of what you went through
Blank stare
Zoning out
Are you ok?
Yeah I’m “fine”
Constant lies to everyone because you don’t want the pity
Don’t want the “I’m so sorry”
Don’t want to be “that girl” ( or guy)
I just want to move on and forget it
Yet, it’s not possible
Not possible at all
One little thing can trigger that period in your life and time warp you back to the exact night or years your went through it
One minute your good, the next watch out
Wanting to crawl under a rock and cry, scream, yell “why me?”
Rocking away all the emotions flooding your brain
Trying so hard to remove that “so-called memory “ from your past files and deleting them...
But you can’t
You can’t at all
You will live with this the rest of your life
But it’s ok....
I went through it
I lived it
I made it
I conquered it
It will always be with me
But I am STRONG
I am who I am
I am ME TOO