I keep releasing
I keep letting out
I keep opening up
Im trying to focus,
But my mind is disturbed
Im trying to hide these scars.
Im trying to hide these cuts.
Im trying to block the blood from escaping.
And I cannot save myself,
Because the ****** is me.
When the mirror is in front,
I just jump in and attack.
I keep kicking,
I keep hitting,
I keep punching,
But most of all,
I keep bleeding.
These invisible bruises represent the past;
They faded, but there are bad memories left behind.
These invisible marks represent the future;
In the present I abuse for the past which will continue in the future.
Because Im unable to stop
Im unable to control myself
I have no other way to handle everything.
& by putting myself at risk,
I can just finally disappear;
So I wouldnt feel such depression.
& I just want to escape,
But my body is still in this world.
& you can see that my body is still,
But Im trembling inside.
& you can see my veins,
But my nerves are shaking inside.
& you can hear me breathing,
But Im hyperventilating inside.
& you can see my dry eyes,
But Im crying inside.
& you can see my closed mouth,
But Im screaming inside.
& you can see my my head,
But my mind is bleeding inside.
& you can see my chest,
But my heart is bleeding inside.
& you can see my sleeve,
But my arm is bleeding inside.
I keep opening my wounds,
But I close the pain.
I keep releasing the blood,
But I forget the bad memories.
I keep abusing myself,
& I cant stop bleeding.
& not all the blood is visible,
Because the first dripping is in my head,
My mind cant stay in one piece.
Second, and mostly is my heart;
That aches in pain, with the puddles of blood.
Lastly from all this drama in my head,
& the aching in my heart,
The blood leaks through my skin;
As I finally make the cuts upon myself.
So I will always continue to bleed.