it's always    the ******
w/ the biggest implants
whining, 'why don't men
love me for who I am?'

I don't like Barbie b/c
she looks like a woman;
I like women b/c they
look nothing like Barbie

beauty contestants are
professionals; they're
supposed to look   good
teetering on seven-inch

heels in a thong      while
wearing a push-up bra  to
perform brain surgery  or
flying to Mars & beyond;

sending Barbies into    space
would mess w/ alien's minds
for sure; 'these are obviously
religious figurines. hmmm' -

& somewhere deep in the Scorpio
Nebula an astroarchaeologist gets
curious about the long-abandoned
space cargo; 'no genitals, u say?'

boomed his three-eyed mentor;
'these creatures never existed;
they are purely mythological
creations & even were they to
roam some bizarre alien world
they would fall over on those
spindly legs & tiny feet; as I'll
continue to insist, such monsters

could never see life;' the lecture
went on & on; about how the two
large lumps on the upper front
torso have no discernible function
other than to throw the creature off-
balance; but then                             later, under the    cool      rainbow night    ,
w/ the    several       moons       emitting their          familiar      colored     waves    ;.;
the astroarchaeologist                     had the most       disconcerting dream;
made the more disturbing in                  that no one of their race had ever dreamt before- it was unheard of,
& yet all he saw, smelled & heard
were female voices                         chattering from 1,000,000,000 different
directions
    at once; he saw butts & *****           in every size
  & proportion;  snooches being                     shaved in a flurry of wet blades;
no chafing; band-aids on *******;           more      bouncing   tanned        rear ends running to the showers; lingerie
                flying like cats after             birds; seven-inch Plexiglas stilettos -
[the entire room                          stinks of ***** & farts, he notes             ]
tampons in; music up &                   when the curtain                                          F
opens the orchestra crescendos    
the svelte army of leggy contestants;
bathing beauties marches into the limelight &
stand tall & ***** defying the howling
mad crowd surrounding them in a glittering star & family                -filled gala Colosseum -sized            arena;
the spectacle is to boost the morale of the ]
e ***** men & women who smile w/
malicious leers every time  camera's eye catches           their
perverted glare;

upon waking the           astroarchaeologist
looks over at his desk;            the seven - inch - woman taunting him
'but how,' he thought & rolled        over back to sleep
to dream once again of the Barbie                  Nation;
no such creature could ever exist;
but some such creature had to create it &
therefore as the learned philosophers are wont to say,
how could an unknown creature create  the
image of a nonexistent creature unless that
unknown creature strongly resembled         the non-existent creature