I don't know if I'm okay.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to fit in.
I hear imaginary voices criticizing everything that I do, everything that I am.
I see people smiling and laughing, wishing that I could be as carefree as them.
I want to fit in, to go with the flow, to belong.
I am not okay.

I pretend that I'm alright with not being talked to and left out of things.
I feel horrible when people around me act as if I simply aren't there.
I touch my stomach as I look into the mirror, wishing for a thinner body.
I worry that I will never fit in, always be an outsider.
I cry at night, when I am alone with my thoughts.
I am really not okay.

I think that there is something wrong with me. This isn't healthy, this isn't normal.
I create images and scenarios in my head that in the end make me feel worse as they are so far from reality.
I fear that everyone will abandon me, and I will truly be left alone.
I scream when I can't deal with it. When I'm alone and no one can hear my pain.
I remember when I smiled everyday and never over thought the little things that now stress me out more than I'd like to admit.
Will I ever be okay?

I understand that I may always feel like this.
I say that it will get better to convince myself that it can.
I dream that I'm happy, that I'm in love.
I try to put on a brave face and hope that no one notices it's a lie.
I hope that one day I will be able to live my life.
I am depressed.