There's a Cracken in my bathtub,
A police box down the street,
I even saw a little fawn, whose eyes I chanced to meet.

A man once tried to drink my blood,
Before taking to the skies,
Another simply did transform, right before my eyes.

A great scaly beast spread its wings,
as I opened up my door,
Breathing fire as it went, it burned me to the floor.

A dark old broom raced 'cross the sky,
Just as the sun began to rise,
A hairy man ran past my tent, surely in disguise.

One dark morn I saw a curving neck,
Rising from the loch,
Circles written here and there, ruining the crop.

If you don't believe this story,
That I have now told,
Maybe someday soon, these things you will behold.