the hardest door a dark tunnel a spiderweb
in the corner of the synapses the neurons in my dark ******* head
a path I tried before to  ignore
much like tripping on LSD in the
70's
or the ****** gaities
of my good looking youth
where I had no bags yet
blue under my brown eyes
yet
a bit of bad a lot of ecstasy
the moral conundrum the false
guilty feelings sad
the reasonings I recalled I used
at the time so hollow now
had a bit of an epiphany
as I looked over the memories edge
down around up
over heard again the synapses
that soaked
the  neurons capturing
not only the happiest
but those that hurt
and it brought this sense of calm
an encouragement a dream
to warm me again
it let me have peace