Seeking Me

When you look at me my love
What do you really see?
The ashes of a lost soul.
I have no Phoenix to rise in me.
Only a slow burning candle
That one day will extinguish
without notice.

When you touch me
What do you really feel.?
I am like ice, so cold inside.
I need to melt in the sunlight
I want to let in your warmth.
Before old age will
extinguish my light.
To find out who I am.
Fill me with creativity
once again.

When we talk my love
What do you really hear?
The musings of a wannabe poet
Pouring mediocrity from
A faded lexicon.

Why do you still support me?
A man who is calling  
for the candle to burn and release him.
A boy still afraid of the darkness.
A man-child needing your softness.
Still seeking myself after forever.

My dear Lord,
Oh God
If you can still find me.
In your deserts of the sands of time.
Where I am but a grain of sand.
If I am not one of your lost souls .
Take me to a place where I can see.
A mountain top, a clear sky, an eternity.
And fill my soul with all that is you.
And in the strongest holy truth.
Tell me who I am*.