I was almost five
when she left us
just a little boy.
I still remember
that long ago hot summer
when the heat
burned upon the earth
and also our passions.

she left with the handsome
man with the big car.
since then even after all
these years I have looked
and searched for a place
to lose my sadness.

sometimes in the stillness of sleep.
I would hear the songs she sang
as I fell asleep
in her comforting arms.
or feel her soft kiss
on my cheek.
I dreamt of her for years after.
Hearing  her  almost
forgotten footsteps
coming into my room..
I painted her beautiful face
In my mind.
Until time faded it to a blurr.

Now I am a man
no longer
a little boy
with torn jeans and.
***** tee shirt.

people say to me
dumb things like.
She is still out there
and thinks of you everyday
with a mothers love for you
in her heart.

I nod in concert with the thought
Even though I know
It is a beautiful untruth,
I whisper sure or maybe or perhaps.
But inside I know in her heart.
it's something
less than love.
yes for sure
something
much less than love.