Oh how I thought you should know I hold an invisible ice pick deep within my soul It's as if can sense my vulnerabilities, you can smell them I swear You robbed me of my youth You let another take away my innocence Who the heck are you and how do you dare No one at all Is all that you are! You left me alone, scared and off guard You demolished my soul From the inside out! You controlled my silence I was battered with shame "How dare I speak" you say, for I may devastate the family name. You took everything from me before I had anything I still cry silent tears The hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain you inflicted upon me in the first place All the dark secrets yet untold Still tucked away fiercely burning my soul Courageous and brave I still embrace my invisible ice pick When it surfaces my soul you will be the first to know. Someone, anyone please help me unravel my internal pain I hold onto my thoughts of you with a thread of Unspoken conviction. My heart is wrapped safely behind a wall That not even you can climb, although you placed it there one brick at a time. You leave me battling against loneliness, hatred and shame After all these years I have suffered in pain. Your malicious, demonic ways have made me sick in the head. Your words rain down upon my shattered soul Too weak to take a stand Much to fragile to walk away. I realize yesterday is gone and when tomorrow becomes today My invisible ice pick will surface my soul and succumb to the internal pain and Pierce you through your cold malicious heart. It will overcome me with shear satisfaction to see you suffer in pain as I watch your cold hearted blood pour out of your demonic soul As I have embraced a life sentence of hate!
This poem was wrote about my abusive alcoholic mother who destroyed me with her malicious and demonic ways