People often ask me why a romance lover like myself is single
The answer to that question is complicated yet simple

Love terrifies me

I am one of those girls who smiles when she sees a cute couple walking down the street yet when I imagine doing that with someone my body tenses up with so much anxiety it is enough to make me puke

I lie in bed at night wishing I had someone to cuddle with
yet in the morning I am so thankful to have my bed all to myself

I would love to share a home with a man I love because I do get lonely at times but then I think of all the things that change when you live with somebody and my loneliness does not become a problem anymore

I crave the kind of romance you see in all of the movies
yet if the opportunity for romance presented itself I would turn it down because I do not have the energy to fall in love with someone so deeply and love them the way they should be loved

I do not have the motivation to put myself out there and get to know someone as I am allowing a stranger to get to know me

I do not have the courage to expose myself to the wonderful things love has to offer

I do not have the strength to deal with the possible heartbreak I will feel if things did end

I am too worn out to give my heart to someone just for it to break so I can spend the next three years putting pieces of myself back together.