Open Wounds


Since she left me
I don’t go out much
But tonight is Friday
Old friends that were ours
Are celebrating their anniversary
With a party I have to go.

The party is kind of boring
Then all changes in a single moment.
I see her standing next to me.
Stunning and sweet as she always was.
Her smile cuts my heart open
like a knife.

Hi how are you she whispers.
I hope she cannot tell I am lying.
As I tell her I am fine and make up
some recent accomplishments.
My mind is on her figure
Her lips her hair.
I might as well be speaking
In a foreign language.
My words falling like snowflakes
randomly In the wind.

I ask her how she has been
She frowns lightly.
There’s a hole in my life I miss you.
She said
I fill up our glasses with wine.
Hope raising in my broken heart
Like the wine filling my glass.
She tells a few happy stories
It’s weekend and a party
happy is a prerequisite.
We drink quickly
To fill our inner emptiness.
I know I am wearing my need
Of her on my forehead.
She is so beautiful.
And suddenly its midnight.
There seems to be a silent
Understanding that
we will be together this night.
I hold her coat she slips
her arms into the sleeves.
Like we have done a thousand
times before.
I spin her to me we kiss deeply.
I know this feeling so well
I want her and she is not going to say no.
I remember her like before
and all the hurt melts.
She comes back to my flat
We make love the trapped
tears of loss fall inside my eyes.
Then the warmth of her
floods my soul
I am bipolar now.
Turning from deflated to
Feeling over the moon.
I should have stayed on an
emotional carousel not jumped
onto the roller coaster.
Roller coasters are dangerous.
I can’t hold it back
I spoil it all by saying.
I love you honey
So much
Please come back to me.
She stiffened slightly in my arms.
The moment was lost.
We will see she whispers.
It’s several hours later.
The house is silent I awaken
to the soft click of my door closing.
Her side of my bed is still warm.
I know my half healed heart
Will reopen the cuts she left before.
And I would bleed
like I did when she first left me.