I've been wanting to **** myself for a long time
I just don't have the guts to do it
I've thought of ways to die as I lay in bed at night
but I keep telling myself to forget it
I listen to my heartbeat as I fall asleep
and pray to God that it stops eventually
yet no matter how many times I plead and beg for death
I still waked up to my ****** up reality
I'm waiting for the day I take my last breath
so the world will realize what they lost
I want people to ******* notice I'm hurting
I wish I had a remote that puts the world on pause
I'm walking in circles not getting anywhere
and it is eating away at me like moth's on dead flesh
I sit on my bed with a cigarette in my hand
realizing my time to go hasn't come just yet
I want to rip out my hair
so the ugliness on the inside will show on the outside
I want to scream until my vocal cords rip apart
so I didn't have to speak to another life
I want to throw up everything that eats me alive
I want to stop crying all the time
I want to run away and never come back
that way no one has to hear me whine
I want to stop being so overwhelmed
I want my head to stop huritng
I wish this pain would disappear
I want to stop feeling like I'm constantly dying.