i thought it’d be poetic
to leave you the same way i found you,
with a contentless text—
a simple entered space
(i knew you wouldn’t catch it)
although you seem to be someone
who thinks very deeply about all someones,
your thoughts about me are puddles
disguised as over-complimenting oceans

and i really do not know
what i am or what i’ve been to you,
or if i’ll be able to keep myself away
from you, or why you’d drive hours
to see me in the middle of the night
when you “plan on kissing at least one
girl in the next three months,”
(could care less if it’s me)

"what would i be waiting for," you asked.

i’m barefoot, chasing a train i know
is on tracks that lead away from where
i want and need to be (but i liked the way
it felt when your hand touched mine)

glad i never gave you any piece of my heart,
because you’re the type of boy who’d
rip it to shreds, hide your claws
behind your back, and tell me that
i should’ve seen it coming
(though you would’ve been right)

maybe you’re just bored,
and that’s why you decorate
your skin with ink and don’t care
about whose lips you’ve touched,
and i wish i could figure you out,
wish i could draw a perfect portrait
with my words (or even just
my thoughts) of who you are,
but i won’t pretend i know you

i hate you and your ***** tattoo
(but i don’t really hate you,
i hate the way i let you make me feel.)

I saw you at a distance.                    
A perfect imperfection.                  
A passing face, at first.                
First glances show the surface.    

We all have fears and doubts and pain.
I wanted to ask you how you were.
Truly.                                                  
I wanted to know why you were scared to say,                                
the truth.                                        

But the truth is I glanced and looked away.                                            
Now I know                                      
of the thoughts and hopes and dreams
and screams                                  
for help.                                        

And now they're lost.                  
Now you've gone away.                
And now we'll never know those memories.

your heart was always out of reach
and mine was always in your hands
but if you listen closely
you can hear my ribs cracking
to the rhythm of your breathing
your grip tightens 
my heart screams 
you laugh
i beg
you lie
we fight
"do you think I'll cry?" I ask
"you know I'll try" you counter
the sky darkens as you smile
nothing unusual 
i think about when I paced my halls
at three in the morning on a sunday
and how it was just like when 
you pulled me underwater 
and it felt like I was breathing fire 
and suddenly you're talking about
when we first met
in that church parking lot
when it started something
that was anything but holy
and I laugh at the irony
it was better than any poetry
i could ever write 

[holyoak]

lately i've been day dreaming at night
and every time
you're grasping
at the smoke in my lungs
trying to make sense of the poetry
that you think is about yourself
the steam was coming off 
of the asphalt 
and i thought about 
how i was so breathless
when you told me
i float just out of your grasp
but at least you can see me
i've been blind since the day we met
and as it turns out
that was more curse than blessing
i could see nothing
except for the words you used
to keep me focused on you
you were always the selfish one
but what I gave
you couldn't take
it's not enough to just look away
because now I don't see anything
but that's better than seeing you 
you
in all your 
underwhelming 
overbearing
need to be seen by everyone
i wonder
do you think fire is scared 
of fizzling out and dying 
or does it just take pride 
in giving warmth 
and roaring while it can

[holyoak]

I remember you fondly.
The brightest stars
Collapse most strongly.
And when they touch
They blaze.

Such are their ways.
A fact.
I wonder.

If we go down,
We'll go together.
A mutual collapse
Is better than to drift
Alone forever.
So let the collapse come.
We'll show the galaxy
What can be done
When love, stronger than the sun,
Meets.

The one I want
Is all I'll ever need.
The force of gravity
Can quake beneath our feet,
As we crash,
As we crash
More brilliantly
Than when two stars meet.

I'll reach across the universe for you.
And when I do,
Let's shine together too.

Although my life was fine
Back when my nights were grey,
I look up to find
The stars burn brighter
Now than then.

A sign

It's just the start.
She took my heart
And I'm alright with that.
And when I think of
All the time we've spent
Together, though apart,
I realize it's the best  
I've ever had.

I've learned:

Not every sunrise is equal.
Some bring more light,
She's the same.
And frequently I find
She's to blame
When clouds disperse
And lightning fades.

In my mind
And in my day.