How can humility match this raging fire within?

The furnace breathes. Alive
in harmony. Hearth built strong.
Bellows balanced in a steady stream.
Useful : Proud in action and function.
My body steams
learning to trust
temperament.

I am more than a passenger.
I am the reactor.
Power sputters, spurts, spews.
I am the greatest factor.
The soul protagonist of my chapters.
This scene's star actor.
Purring ad lib in sync with script,
lapping up rapture.

Talk about incontinence: I talk **** the size of all seven continents.
Don’t mistake it for confidence, it’s a conference of incompetence.

See, I like artistic depictions
of realistic positions.
Metaphor heals like an addicted physician.
Reflecting my self seems a mirrored prison,
yet reflections from others can induce frisson.

Missing the point is my mission, so I’m spaced.
Dismiss what you say then expect you to listen.
I undermine what could be mine trying to save face.
Unfortunately I am now featureless
so that was not the case.
When there’s no understanding, it’s ruthless.
Reality is a blinding place.

Thank god for the change of seasons,
gives me a reason.
As the skies fade to gray from blue
it gives me an excuse to change too.

I forgot what it feels to be hot.
As leaves drop it reveals the truth.
We hide our trunks by façade of youth.
I find where I am by playing it cool.

Impending Winter says I played a fool.
We each have the tools to act how we want.
Wantonly waste the days of sowing: time comes to reap an empty plot.
Spirit seems dead, under earth growing.
Lay down knowing roots.
Rise with Sol above lowly thought.
When others are withering the persistent maintain presence.
Stop easy excuses: recruit robust essence.

Each towering tree has thought of rot.
Surrender is sweet, but the strong see
what Spring brings.
God does not end with what Autumn brought.

I'm bluffin with a handful of aces.
The game hasn't started yet,
but I'm making my paces.
Life is in a corset of context and I did up the laces.
Can't see behind my mask
because I wear two poker faces.
Look into my eyes to trade places.

One hand in the kitty, the other palming a *****;
we eat up the country and **** in the city.
Tongue in cheek pity which I find tasteless.
Tasting myself, irony has lost: caseless.
A real strict lawyer
tries telling Tom Sawyer he's baseless.
The rest painting the fence say it's ok that he's aceless.

I am still a ***** bedwetter
when the urge is overwhelming.

Locked. Dominated.

Tear-stained pillows.

I found a strand of hair in the bed.

Deep down in my truest self, I am no different from a bug.
Because messy emotional crumbs swept under a rug:
act tough like a ****.
But from that prior deep place, I know we each need a big hug.

Human outlook gets caught in a loop.

When I bite into fruit
supple surrender
reminds of  mortality.
Juice runs but I catch.
Happiness bursts with no lock to latch.
I lost my head.
If found, please reattach.
For now, I can stick to chilling all blind-like.
In the dark I still have my heart.
I will not let regret get the limelight.
In the past I had too much focus on hindsight.
Jellyfish do not even have eyes
yet not one is paralyzed with existential dread.
Float in the moment. A place where demise has fled.
Between all forms of experience.