moments of darkness that turned into hours
hours would turn days
days would turn into months
using would bring darkness
while numbing the light

even in light there would be more darkness
not seeing what was ahead
but only seeing what it didn't have for me
a future that was my past

more darker time with regrets
loosing money, time, and a place called mines
I crumbled!
then I cracked
the pillars that held my world up came tumbling down on me

turning to the bottle would be the answer
drinking every last drop
and drinking even more
until I stumbled
I could no longer hold myself up
I crashed and burned

I am siting here pondering
While pensive about my future
What does it hold?
Do I know?
Or don't I know?
Will I know?

Many questions, many answers
I want to work again
While I can again
This is a goal I want
This is a goal I must achieve

I 'll have to seek it to find it
Not just one I"ll seek
But many until I find the right one

Seeing is not only with your eyes
It is being able to visualize
In your mind as well
Its the same with hearing
If you don't listen
Then how can you hear?

The pain is gone
And no longer is present
I don't think much about it
But if it returns I deal with it

I get up every morning
Then I bleed
From where?
You wouldn't want to know!
It hurts and hurts
I take a pill or two to ease the pain
But then I soak in the tub with warm water by dissolving a salt in it
I sit in it for five minutes
While it reduces the irritation
It reduces the pain

My dreams I pursued tirelessly
Until it happened
Then something else happened
I had to slow down
But my dreams didn't
I encountered a few gliches
I call problems
Money ran out to promote my dreams
But I have no intention of giving up
Much less giving in too defeat
I will persevere to make it happen
To see it happen

My ancestors were victims of brutal changes
the British Empire imposed upon them
I understand other ethnic groups have suffered at the hands of the British
Be it the people one ancestry or another
We all have suffered
But today there is still suffering
Men are being beheaded
because they offer help
In Iraq it still seems like they continue to carry out teachings of Sadam Hussein
Why?
I don't know!