Philia

Philia Jun 2018

A long walk that night,
Guide me to a place
That I’m not too sure whether I should step in or not.
it is Aphrodite’s temple.

I start blabbering about love.
All of my theories;
All of my beliefs.
She listens without any word comes out from her mouth.

It continues;
I strategically points out those rhetorical questions that I know I didn't need her answers.
I tell her about the pain;
And those broken hearts;
That love lies.
It hurts;
And it destroys.

But again, I didn’t need her answer.

I said, I once believe in love.
But when I talked about love, how can I forget the pain it follows?

Philia May 2018

Aphrodite.

Dear Aphrodite,

What is love?

For all those poetry I’ve written,
For all those wise words I’ve said,
Seems like, it is me, who doesn’t know anything about love.

For God’s sake,
I’ve wrote those poetry with all my heart.
I cry my heart out.
I cry to the world, how in love I am that night.

For God’s sake,
I told everyone all my theories about love,
How love will find its way back,
How love will light up your world.

Aphrodite,
When I talk about love;

How can I forgot about the pain it follows?

Philia Apr 2018

An Illusion.

I still remember that I thought I've found the one,
when I met him.
I thought everything is falling into the right place,
and I don't need to worry about anything,
as I've found the love of my life.

But everything becomes a joke suddenly.
It doesn't take that long for me to realize everything;
Maybe everything is not what it seems.

& after our goodbyes,
the more I see those inconsistencies,
those stories & theories that make me even sure,
that maybe he's not the one.

I've packed my bag;
and all the broken pieces of my heart.
Those happy endings I thought I've found,
is all becoming nonsense.

Doesn't he know that all he did just now is really breaking my heart?
or maybe..
all these years,
all I see is just an illusion?

Philia Apr 2018

A Classic Love Story.

Let me tell you a story,
a classic love story;
about a boy and a girl.
who spent their childhood together.
Never really talk about anything;
They're both young and shy.

Until that one time.
that was a Summer Holiday;
She's 17 and naive,
He's 19 and not sure about anything.
They spend 10 days together,
travels around China.

She falls head over heels for him.
But he's too blind to see.
Everything is just not in their favor.
Everything just seems useless.

She carries her broken heart, and move on.
She becomes a stronger woman.
She knows what's the best for her,
and can handle things on her own.

So does he.

Time flies,
and here they are.

They found each other,
after almost 6 years.

Seeing each other's eyes,
holding each other's hands.
Talking about their dreamy holiday in the past,

and suddenly, it is a happy ending.

Philia Feb 2018

22nd February 2018

Today,
I pray to God.
To thank Him for giving me you
for these past years.
To keep you safe and sound
wherever you are.
To bless you
in every step you take.
To love you
more and more each day.
To protect you.
To keep you warm.
To be with you.
Always.

& I also pray to God
for myself.
To thank Him
for His grace upon me.
To show me
his presence for me each and every day.
To guide me
in every path I choose.
To carry me
Every time I fall.
To heal me
every time I broke my own heart.
To let Him lead my way
To be with me.
Always.

Happy 22nd dear. I’m sorry.

Philia Feb 2018

Untitled

I write about you long before we even start dating.
I wrote about how I adore you,
how I want you,
how I love you.

You know, I never really write about love before.
All I write is about heartbreak,
pain,
lies,
and hate.

How can I really write about love,
when I have no subject to write about?
How can I really write about falling in love,
when all I have is a heartbreak?

Philia Feb 2018

2nd February 2018

I didn't say that I stop loving you.
I didn't say that I don't want to fight for us.
I didn't say that I got enough.

Everything is just not in our favor anymore.
Everything is falling apart;
and I didn't know where I am.

I still remember the days,
when we had our times together.
when the Neptunes gives me you.
I still remember the day,
when I know you are everything that I could ask for, in life.

Time flies.
We may walk in two different paths.
and I blame no one.

I pray for you every night to my God.
and I believe you do the same.
Maybe His authority is greater than our love.
I don't know.

I never met someone like you before,
who makes me fall head over heels;
makes me feel so loved.
makes me feel like I never loved before.
and I can't thank God enough for you.

We may walk in two different paths now,
but I hope you would always remember me
as someone, you loved once.

We may not hold each other's hand and sail the sea now,
but always remember we had our chances, once.

I can't believe it's over now.
For God's sake, I threw 3 dimes into the fountain last Autumn.
Again.

They must be laughing by now.
who tells you to believe in such a myth
but, I do.
Even just for a year,
I know for sure, that we loved each other so much.

2nd of February would be our mark,
that we would be there for each other
as best friends.
yes, we're back to the very start.

*I Thank God that you are my best friend.