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rachel Oct 2013
Climbing out of bed
On cold fall nights to
Stand on balconies
Because life is too much to handle

Anxiety ridden words fall from your mouth
As your voice spikes

"You haven't stopped smoking all night"

Pulling cigarettes from an Altoids case
Where you've kept it hidden
Holding fire filled paper to your lips

Inhale, exhale

Breathing in the bad and releasing the good
Killing your body with the chemicals that you use to make yourself feel better

*You don't feel better
rachel Oct 2013
Sometimes,
i miss you
Goes deeper
rachel Oct 2013
When the demons crawl into bed with you
Don't let them take over
Breath in deep and fill your lungs
Not with air,
With smoke
And when you can't breath anymore
Pull out a blade
And slash across your ribs
Letting the oxygen fill the wound
Waiting for your lungs to collapse
And when they find you empty and broken
Don't let them pick you back up
Go and pull yourself together
Because no ones truly there for you
Put on a fake smile
And cover up the injury so no one sees
Wait for them to walk away and then cry
Cry until you can't cry anymore
Cry until the air leaves your lungs again
And your forced to repeat these steps once again
So grab your razor and welcome the demons and breath in the smoke because there the only ones there for you
Grab your razor and welcome the demons and breath in the smoke because you don't want to be this cynical anymore
You're a despondent soul wasting away
Partially based off of Wintergirls

— The End —