a name like water
flows from my lips
into the darkness
through the abyss.

i watch you quietly
you do not see
you never will
and it is killing me.

friends and lovers kiss
but snakes also kiss
just ask Jesus.

I can't cut
No more
No
No
No
I promised

But the feelings are so strong
Overflowing me
I need them to pour down my arm
And out of my body

I can't
I can't be that weak
I just need to breathe
...
My lungs fail me

But no
No
No
I can't reach for it
Not allowed
Not anymore
Done with that, right?
I really just want to grab the knife
Razor
Needle
Anything
And end this misery
At least soothe it a little

But no
No
No
No
I can't

~
Refraction
Love passes through
And changes
Direction
Let it hold sway
The heart leans toward catastrophe
In the blue headlights
Of parenthood
Mom and dad
Suspended from a pivot
Their offspring
Asleep on a sunbeam
~

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                             To the I.C.E. Gangs


          In the dock…slumped in their seats fidgeting nervously…
          They seemed to be a drab assortment of mediocrities. It
           seemed difficult to grasp that such men…had wielded such
           monstrous power…

   -William L. Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third *****, p. 1142


When this is over, we will not come for you -
But good and faithful servants of our laws
With warrants, in uniform, in marked cars
Not hiding behind masks –
                                                      they will come for you

I see the shape of things
As they shift
And slowly change.

I feel the weight it brings
As they chisel
And carve their names.

As the clouds move through their lives
They stretch, and pull apart.
No cloud will ever be the way
It was back at its start.

Maybe we are as those clouds,
Reshaping as we go.
No need to be ashamed nor proud.
Simply travel where winds blow.

Maybe we could learn from them,
Who exist but do not fight.
Face reality with grace, and then
Do the same in the windy night.