For months you have made everything difficult,
Your icy demeanor chilling me to the bone.
Just when I think you have finally left me alone,
You fall back into my life, throwing everything into chaos.

The white rabbit dances in front of me,
unfurling like a strand of fog in the morning light.

It promises a diversion from the pain,
so I take off and give merry chase.

Into the twists and turns of its lair I go,
looking around desperately for means of escape.

They drift down with a slow and deliberate ease
alighting on the ground, covering it in white.
Each individual finds another, and together they freeze
becoming one, at peace with their final flight.

Dust, dirt, debris
Negligence, ignorance, apathy

A stray cup, a rogue fork
I'll take care of it later.
I don't feel like it right now.
Wasting time.


Clothes, bags, papers
Insecure, uncertain, doubtful

Unkempt pillow, unmade bed
I'll take care of it tomorrow.
I bet someone's using the machine.
Excuses.


Dank, dark, dingy
Repulsed, afraid, trapped

Closed door, lights off
I'm ashamed.
I'll clean it soon.
Procrastination.

Beep, beep, beep
The sound of the monitor is strong and steady.
Beep, beep, beep
The sound of life, familiar and unchanging.

Beep, beep, beep
A constant noise, reminding us that we are alive
Beep, beep, beep
It is something we come to depend on, that incessant shrill.

I stand perched on the edge of the rabbit hole,
Gazing into its depths, the dark is so alluring - so peaceful.
Beep
I take a step forward hoping to see through the blackness
Only to find myself walking down a slippery *****.
Beep, beep

Things suddenly slow down, the monitor grows quiet.
Beep...beep...beep...
Vibrant colors begin to fade, turning into a dull monochromatic hue.
Beep.....beep.....beep.....

As I travel down this precarious path
I begin to wonder how I will climb back up.
I shove the thought to the back of my mind
My forward momentum overcoming any second thoughts.

The earth suddenly disappears from beneath my feet!
I find myself in an unexpected free-fall,
Trying to grab on to anything I can find,
I cry for help, only to find my mouth sewn shut.

The darkness that was so attractive before shows its true colors,
Of which there are none - a void bereft of light.
Panic takes me with a cold grasp,
Squeezing the warmth out of my heart.

As I fall, I look up at where I came from,
Only to see a mere pinpoint of white.
The dark is swallowing me whole,
And I become paralyzed by fear.

My descent into the dark has only begun,
And all the while I strain my ears for the sound of life,
Only to find it has nearly disappeared.
The noise that irritated me so before has become my only friend.

Beep.....beep................