As I walked down the same road
I've walked a thousand times
Small town,
I have dreams, never seem to get out
I realized the stupidity of what I was doing
I'm avoiding life because I'm scared of living,
Not being true to myself,
In fear of failing as me
Insignificant people decide my destiny,
Their opinions are valued over my own

This is the road to hell
To selfhatred, regrets and pain
I always wind up ******* things up for myself,
Instead of listening to my gut,
Which I know have all the answers,
I'm just a coward

As I look at the beautiful sunset,
I know the truth is within me,
The power inside me
And the strength with me

I have to change,
Break the pattern,
I've said it from the beginning,
But I never seem to begin
Will I begin now or forever hide in despair?

It's killing me before my time,
I want to live,
But it's like I'm frozen,
Unmovable,
The same place as always,
In hell,
When my soul is made for heaven

Could it be worse?
It actually is,
Because the reason I'm in hell,
Is because I've put myself there,
And it's like the fear screams to me:
"You'll never make it",
"You're not worth it",
"You're stupid"
"You're ugly"
"Why are you even thinking about it?"
It silences me, keeps me stuck
My thoughts are the root of all the evilness
I'm putting myself through

I need to fight through all the sadness
And embrace my madness
The future is in my hands
Will I let it slip through,
or will I grab it by the hands and make it greet me?
It's up to me

Will my fear get the best of me,
Or will my best shine through?

I don't care about anyone,
or anything
You keep me safe and sound,
bring me joy and laughter

I like us better in private,
just being myself with you,
fulfills me
No worries,
no need to be scared

Just us two, no interruptions
So secure,
perfect as can be,
could stay like this forever,
no doubt in my mind

This moment,
right here,
right now,
no pain,
just love

Many times I wished for you to care
To love me,
Stay by my side,
Help me,
Encourage me,
Make me smile and laugh,
Protect me,
Make me feel special,
I've never had that

Didn't you think I deserve it?
Wasn't I important enough?
Did your own selfhatred get in the way?

While you wallowed in self-pity
And added even more regrets to your life
I was left alone, on the outside, feeling abandoned
Like I wasn't worthy

You acted cold and distant
The words I was too young to hear
You didn't care for your life,
Or to see us grow up,
You probably didn't see it like that,
But kids do,
We're not programmed to have adult minds,
You should've known,
I wanted to be loved and that's all I wanted back
To love you with all my heart

The few times you looked at me and smiled
Is all I will ever have from you
It hurts that I care as much as I do
When you've never been there for me
You were never there
I wonder if you ever wanted to

All those times you never showed up,
Made me cry,
Left all alone...
Did you even know?
Did you drink away the only hunch
You've ever had?
Was it worth it?

I get life is hard,
I get you're down,
Believe me, I do
But is that an excuse to neglect your flesh?
If someone hurt you in the past,
It was never me, never your little girl
Why weren't I your little girl?

You grew up in a distant family,
It does stuff to a person,
Just like all this did to me
I get that and try to be understanding
But my patience is fleeting
You don't value my heart
I'll still continue to **** you with kindness
That's a better way to die
Than die of the *****, old and alone

Hopefully you'll find peace and stop
This selfdestructiveness
If not, atleast I tried
A job not mine to do
Only you can make the change,
Only if you want do

I guess you're a lost case
Prove me wrong
But I'll never hold my breathe waiting,
Because if there's one thing I've learned,
It is that you never keep a promise

The music's inside me,
It makes me want to move,
To dance,
To smile,
To live,
To laugh,
To never give up

I sometimes lose it when I'm down
Completely
Maybe even for a long time
But never completely
Because it's within me
It's programmed
It's destined
It's me

The music's inside me,
The biggest part of me,
It's untouchable,
It can never die,
Even when I feel like it,
It brings me back to life,
Makes me breathe,
Gives me hope,
Gives me love

When I can't seem to find myself,
I find myself in music

I wanted to be like everyone else,
So I partied to fit in,
Drank to interact with you,
Lost myself trying to find you,
Truth is I don't want you,
Don't need any of you,
You give me nothing...
Nothing but headaches and mistakes

The laughter fades as the time passes,
The time from the last drink,
Without the alcohol it's not the same,
It never is...
Talk gets more serious, more depressed,
More distant,
It's all an illusion

I used to want to be like everyone else,
Feel normal,
Popular,
Liked,
Now I don't care,
It's not me,
I want people who like me for me,
Not who I used to be,
Who they want me to be,
I'm not like you,
I'm like me.

There he stands...
So tall, so beautiful
With nothing but his hat,
and his voice
I get goosebumps from the magic
of his singing
My hands tremble of the nervousness
of him not noticing me
the way I notice him
I just want him so badly,
need his kiss to calm my mind,
from all the lustful thoughts
that just keep on comin'
as he keep on singin'

I wish to be there
and sing side by side,
Our voice connecting
as our hearts find each other

We could belong,
we could be one...

Let's be real
Does that mean you really want to?
To know my deepest thoughts?
See my pain?
Feel my fear?
Are you even aware?
Let's be clear