black and blue bruises print your back like a roadmap
and the red scratches are statelines leading toward our passion
enraged and engulfed in love
no outside matter can awake us
or catch our attention until the deed is done
and afterwrads we lay in a sweaty pile of legs and arms
and we both glisten and pant
and the world smells like daises dipped in sunshine
waking up from the deep slumber that later ensues
is like being born again
muscles are sore, such a sweet sense of pain
and everything is too bright, but it's nice
like the sun is a close second cousin you haven't seen in a while
together at night we're like a storm cloud
but there's always a decent sized rainbow when we wake
laying here now, in this morning glow, I watch
I watch your skin quiver at my touch
and I watch you eyelids flutter
you stick your fingers in my hair even though they get stuck
and we giggle and it is musical
because your laughter sounds like what I imagine the moon does
deep, but raspy like you've been smoking candy cigarettes
it's quite impossible for me to express my love
in any other way than between these sheets
and if that makes me unholy then so be it,
and let me ****** forever
because your body is my temple
and I bless you skin every night with my kisses
so I suppose that makes me a saint actually
and your words my teachings and your tattoos my scribe
I don't fully believe in reincarnation
and less in soulmates
but this feels too good not to have been
premonitioned by ancient stars
there are three ways I love you
and the first two are the way you take me to bed
the third is your eyes
and the way they are illuminant
like moonbeams
and round
like they could be innocent
except I know the deep seated lust they hide
god, your eyes are so beautiful

Take these hands and mold them like clay
Make them operate under your will
Sow these fingers together like lace
Because that's how fragile my actions are
Make me like snow that falls and never melts
Crystallize me in the multifaceted edges of your mind
Break my bones and separate my molecules
Turn me into what you want, if not just for tonight
I saw a blazing constellation the other day
And it reminded me of you
I felt my face aflame under my sheets
And I needed you so bad to come cool my skin
With your lips froze like the ice that roams your blood
Passionate like roses, but ever shy like daffodils
Yellow with worry and trepidation
You wound my hair with your finger so tight
I could feel your apprehension that night
Could taste it in your heady breath
And we fell asleep afraid
Having nightmares that paralyze you in your rest
Trapped by our own emotions
But I never asked you to stay, you just did
Maniacs keep awful company
That's what I told you anyway as I counted the blades of grass
Outside tastes like magic and honey
Like energy made for our lungs sweet drinks for our mouths
Steady it goes
The pounding of my afferent heart
Until it doesn't
But the earth that will fill my lungs then
Will be just as bittersweet as your tongue is now

Breath
It pulls out of me and I'm left
Needing
Sometimes I forget
It is my own choice
To pull in new air
And breathe again

Anger
Like an infection
It festers and burns in my chest
And lo, I don't realize from time to time
It is my own thoughts
That **** my joy
I need to relax once more

Fear
It fills me and
Squashes my pride
And confidence
Many a days I overlook
The possibility that
There's absolutely nothing to fear

Paranoia
It tells me to be watchful
And I feel all eyes on me
Nerves on end and tingling
My nights get restless
Though sleep is all
I really need

Lies
I hear them constantly
And like an animal
I am trained into believing
Obediently figuring
That everything I hear
Must only be the truth

If ever in your entire life
You've felt a little sour
Eat teaspoon of sugar and smile a little
Keep thinking the world will get better
When days are dark
When you open your eyes
After attempts to sleep away pain
Lift your head a little higher
Surround yourself with the sunshine of life
It's possible that the bad days run long
And the best nights of our lives
Seem to be as thin and wafting as breath
But if you continue to be
Living, breathing, walking, running
Then it's okay and worth it
There are many things to live for
Like the feel of sand beneath your toes
Or solid rock under your hands
As you climb adventurous mountains
Or the sound of a baby's laughter and cry
And the rushing waves of the ocean
The taste of exotic foods
And the view of oriental fashions
It's all worth living for
Worth being for
So swallow your pride, along with your fear
And conquer your days
Listen close as the world cheers

I am contempt with the fact, that I will always sip my coffee
before it cools and burn my lips
Because I know when I do, you will kiss away the pain
And I am realizing now as the stream curls around my face
that we were no more ready for commitment
than we were love
So I'll take my sips of piping coffee and await your tender lips
knowing it will never go further than that
And I will accept it.

There are levels to this madness, it doesn't start from nothing
The sadness is bone deep and my molecules contain the disappointment that makes up every inch of my skin
I wonder all the time where exactly I'll find peace...
Will it be me alone in a dark room, listening to music?
Will it be in some foreign land with spicy foods and colorful culture with beautiful people around?
Or will I find peace in a person?
I hope to all hell I don't
I don't want to have to curl up in someone's arms to feel safe in my skin
I want to be free.

If you listen closely you'll hear that my mournings are fake
and the actual problem I have isn't within me
You'll notice I have amazing brain functions and there is no lack of oxygen, so the mistakes I make are natural
There's nothing worse than realizing your ***** ups were supposed to happen
Where does happiness come in all this?

Changed my number in the morning
Broke my records on the floor
Laced my fingers through his hands
Pulled the latch and locked the door

Fell in love with a name, not a number
Asked where he lived, he answered "On the shore"
Left my inhibitions back in the tundra
All night long he kept me begging for more

Sent me roses laced with arsenic
Gave him pinches full of pain
Slept beside him barely breathing
It seemed I was stuck in this silly game

Took my freedom but showed me love
Held my hands to keep me tame
I wasn't lonely, not with him
Life would never be the same

Did you really think
You could form diamonds out of his words
I realize that yes, they cut
But there are no fractals disguising his hate
Burned lips from letting cigarettes
Go for too long
You've come to hate those lips and
What mysteries come from this feeling
Why you love him, only God knows
Maybe there's perfection only you can see
Maybe it's the lack of perfection
Maybe it's the way his eyes will go
Slant and opaque when you tell him stories
The gritty sound of his voice and laughter
Smokers are disgusting but
You'd smoke a thousand cigarettes with him
Why do we love the ones
Who are most dangerous for us?

It doesn't matter to me
If your fingertips sweat
As they glide over ivory piano keys
Be the music lovely
And if you look me in the eyes
And if your hazel gaze never falters
Then I'll know, and we'll never need to worry
I never knew a boy
With a heart as wide as your mind is full
You are the epitome of worldliness
Anything you know to be true is useful
I imagine your thoughts to be magical
Dreams, yours are universal
I'd love to hear you play
To watch the pads of your fingers
Tap all over the board
Like they may do my body
Apparently I have dreams too...
Dreams of me waking up with you beside me
In a tent, cuddled close, fire burning
Watching your lazy attentiveness as you drive
Top down, wind in our faces
If only I had hair to flap in it
It makes me nervous how different we are
And sometimes I think the thoughts I have about you
Are just that, thoughts
But then you talk to me
Guys never just talk to me...
Unless they want to be friends
God, I'd love to be your friend
But I suppose I want  more than that too
I want you to play piano for me
I need to know if you can fill the hole
That runs through my heart
Steals all my happiness
I want to know if you can make me smile
Without even saying a word
These are more my thoughts than a poem
But it needed to be said
Because I think I could love you
Love...
It's a **** powerful word, huh?

Do you believe in the lyrics you listen to?
Does the melody speak your language?
You're a good girl making bad choices
And don't know who to fall in love with
So why fall in love with anyone?
He's a better boy
Falling for the sweetest girls like you
And he tries so hard to impress
But he was never enough for you
Does the rhythm match your heartbeat?
Do the voices stroke your soul?
It's impossible for you to find love
If you're only looking for a moment
That takes away your breath
He finds it difficult to trust them now
It's all because of you
He questions motives and their smiles
He reasons their happiness can't be because of him

We were careless in the summer
If there was a day to be remembered we quickly forgot
Sun filled days of bliss were too engaging
We trifiled in unimportant matters, we were free
Yet somehow something was missed
And as the autumn days reached us, we let go of bated breath
Just to be reminded of the chill we left behind
We swore we'd never go back to it...
And they say love is not like the weather

this girl is not a gun
she is an old shoelace ripped and ragged
worn and overused but
unwilling to be retired, she is

lazy, but still does what is needed
holds tight and gets from A
to B, and maybe there is a bit of
unravelling on the way but she made it

why is life the only race we
don't get draped in roses and gold at the
end but instead burnt up and locked away
or worse, stuffed in a box that will not rot with us

and if the tales about souls are true
there is reprieve in that belief,

but this girl got so much cotton stuffed under her skin
the impact of falling from grace never scared her much