somewhere in the delicately orchestrated seemily meanless phrase 'I love you' there is significance
well how do you expect anyone to find it when you spit it down the throat of every women who has ever made you feel good whilst simultaneously ******* her soul off her tongue young college boy
that is to say i've seen heartbreak i watched him shoot it, beat it and sure as hell defeat it
how can I say this so you will understand she hears your lies wrap around her ankles as she ties her laces
she feels your god dam carelessness rhythm in her ears as she plays piano
she sees the heart she wished you had beat venomously out of her chest as she says to the bar man 'on more on           him'

you loath in her finger tips desperately awaiting to be shaken
but there is nothing that can awaken what you've so shamelessly broken

the fragments of you still dust off of the shower curtain as she pulls it across so vigorously desperately trying to forget the first night you met

the pieces of you that were left behind make sure that you never leave her mind or even begin to find what could once be kind

she never believed the line she always doubted the love she said it was the way he finely dots his i's and crosses his t's
this is to say she knew that when you want to express love it really is no careful hand written letter it's a drunken night on a step when in the mist of the giggles you accidentally just amplify it as if it were so lost in the love

the deluded reality that is no longer you, how can it feel so far from true when you first touched me roses turned violet and the grass turned blue now when you touch me
i softly say
don't

what a shame it is indeed, the girl who believed in glitter and rainbows is now drowning in a sea of not so perfect love

that's the thing about love it's drawn as a beautiful ******* picture one you'd frame or hang on your wall but in reality love is what ***** the life from within you destroying your barely salvaged soul whilst watching you drive a pole into the hole

while this was supposed to be about the petals falling from roses as he withdraws his promise you always keep you close
it became a blood bath of my guts and honesty
that's the thing about love it makes you accidentally honest at the worst of times

The bags under her eyes
As dark as the lies
**** knows why she tries
Pregnant mums take crack
Desperately trying to get by
With their deadbeat highs
But when their dads take smack
And the rest of their family attack
Can you honestly say she's whack?
The truth is
She doesn't know if it's his
Because all of his mates
Use her for beat and ****
Take of the ******* cape
You're not Henry the IIIV
Just incase
You call her a basket case
Why don't you try and embrace
The ******* chase
In attempt to find happiness, in the race
Can you imagine the dark place
Her mind lays
Does she rest?
Please let her sacrifice the quest
Stop testing for the best
You're destroying the lack of culture
You're acting like vultures
Their lives have punctures
Where you've stolen all that means much
Can you blame her for that clutch
She has on her baby, who is Dutch
Lay her body to rest
When she fell
Not a chance in hell
I could break the spell
The maid rang the bell
But no one came out their shell
"Overdose round off episode two"
They grunted under their voice
Stop acting like you have no choice
Use that voice
And act like you give a ****
whether it a duck, buck or truck
You give it your best and chance your luck

You didn't love her** because if you did you would have cherished her like she was the most beautiful and rarest of flowers you'd ever seen. You would have looked at her each and everyday with the same shine in your eyes and love in your smile as the first time your eyes met.
You didn't love her because things like "you're my gem" and "I couldn't imagine a second with out you" should have just stumbled out from between your lips as you laid beside her. When she did her makeup a little different, you would have noticed.
You didn't love her because when she met you her eyes lit up and her hips swayed to the harmony your hearts made but a few months down the line her eyes were lifeless and she didn't feel pretty enough to sway her hips. When you met her, you nearly fooled everyone that you were serious about this one.
You didn't love her because you couldn't see she needed to be spoiled with attention, compliments, love, care and time but instead you spoiled her love filled heart.
You didn't love her because you don't destroy things you love. You don't give people you love a temporary false reality to fuel your needs. You would not have jumped all over flower beds just to see them die so why did you jump all over her fragile heart just to see it break?
You didn't love her, you just didn't want to be alone.

A sadness so heavy
It's worn like a winter coat
It makes your chest tight
Until feel like your dragging it along
Is this where it belongs?

It sits on your eyelids in the mornings
Desperately trying to cling them shut
Only to sit on the lashes later that night
To stretch them wide

It consumes your spirit
Until you feel like flesh an blood
As if your skeleton
Was eaten by your sadness
Making it nearly impossible to get out of bed

It clings to your finger tips
Making you shake constantly
As if you're anxious
Or fragile
But that only confuses them more

It lays on your appetite
Until you're running dry on energy
And no explanation
Because no one can see the demons
Dancing on your stomach lining

It re-wires your thoughts
Until you're no longer yourself
Making you think you're lost
And completely self absorbed
Into your own sorrow

It climbs into your skin
Making you itch like an addict
Feeling uncomfortable
And paraiod in the comfiest of places

It hides behind your eyes
No matter how good you are at hiding it
Regardless of how much you smile
It doesn't matter if you're bubbly
One look in your eyes
And the truth is told

Once you take your sadness somewhere
It embeds itself in the location
When you go back the demons
Will scream at you rhymically
As you drag yourself through the door
Like the church bells chiming on Sunday morning

The problem with sadness is
It becomes comfortable
Somehow it writes itself into your personality
It prints itself to your skin
And it clings on to you forever more

The depressive thoughts will stop
But the profuse shaking
Battle wounds
Bags under your eyes
The memories in your favourite places
The way you think
The foods you eat
And the weight on your shoulders
Become a part of you

Not only does the sadness follow you
you follow it

on the way
to find something to make me less empty
I passed a street sign
I ended up streets away
lost in the clouds
staring at the beautiful architecture
the art made me feel safe
I was kissing bottles
I was toking plants
but nothing make me more safe
than the architecture
which was you

I've done my fair bit
of ending up in the wrong place
making the wrong choice
but everything felt right,
even the sound of your voice
right there in that very wrong street
the street with the beautiful architecture
with the brown hair and eyes
the beating heart
how is it that
something so beautiful
would end up so brutal

my eyes are grey
my hair is a mess
and my heart barely beats
but I love you
and a stranger who felt like home
an anonymous street
which seemed so identified
why does everything seem so confined
why can't I leave it all behind

the problem is
I aimlessly try and fix things
but I can't untie the strings
the strings that cling
to our empty flings
in the cold and brutal springs
that bring the birds to sing
at the same time as breaking their wings