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 Oct 2014 Patrick N
Lisa
Searching and searching,
Through somber black eyes,
Perpending, should I cut all ties?
A woman pursuing another's man,
The very type I can't stand.
Even though it leaves an acrid taste in my mouth,
My body craves a kiss, to touch, and ****, no doubt.
To ****** with fire,
That burning flame,
Sweet rotten romance,
Drenched in shame.
 Oct 2014 Patrick N
Jess Sandler
4 A.M.
Can’t sleep shivers
Fill me as I ponder
All that makes me want to
Nap while the sun shines
So much to do
While the world rests
Voices glide into my ears
Like whispering smoke
Stay up! Stay up!
Orange glow fills the windows
Tomorrow I say
Tomorrow is the day
 Oct 2014 Patrick N
Jess Sandler
I apologize for the stains on the pillow case,
I could not hold it in again.
The black that seeps into the flowers on the edge,
Are just from my eyes,
A little makeup remover should do the job fine.
The clothes missing from the closet are all mine, I swear.
I left your jerseys on the dresser, folded under the picture of us.
Please forgive the mess in the kitchen,
I began to make pancakes, but found myself in a heap on the floor,
While the batter bubbled under the stove.
I was sobbing because I am going to miss everything about this house.
That is no reason to stay here, I know that now.
I will miss Sundays, the smell of brunch from the hall,
And the glow of the tv when you fall asleep.
I found you countless times on the couch,
But never thought to move you to the bed.

The bathroom should be in good order,
The hair straightener will finally be out of your way.
I cleaned up the hair that I shed all over the house,
Because I know how much you hate it.
I began to vacuum the carpets, but I kept crying on them,
The hot tears would dry under the vacuum,
But I couldn't find the energy to keep going.

I know you won't understand why I am leaving,
Which is why this letter is for you,
And why I can't be here when you come home.
Your blue eyes would just drag me back to bed,
Like they have a hundred times.
I couldn't handle the grayness of your love anymore,
The way you couldn't commit to the distant future,
Or even to tomorrow.
We shared a house for ***** sake.
I hope you find the one you need,
I hope she cleans better than me,
I'm sorry that I am hurting you.
But I am happy that this is for me.
Sincerely,
Me
 Oct 2014 Patrick N
LA Brown
I shall have a long, luxurious bath.

I will fill my tub with self-pity.
I shall scrub my back with regret.
I will wash my hands with ignorance.
I shall clean my hair with lost love.
I will wallow in my very own despair.

I shall have a long, luxurious bath...
 Oct 2014 Patrick N
Sad
I lost myself in the ways that I tried to love you
& I lost myself in the ways that I tried to make you love me

I lost myself through bruised knuckles
& blood-stained wrists

I lost myself that time, at your friend’s house, when I said no,
& you didn’t listen

I lost myself in our endless fights
& how you always made me feel like it was my fault

I lost myself the night you grabbed me in the arena
& left “your mark” for two weeks

I found myself the day we said goodbye
& it felt like I could breathe again

I found myself when then the scars started to fade
& the bruises disappeared

I found myself when your words no longer haunted me
& the thought of you didn’t break my heart anymore

I found myself when I stopped thinking about you
& started thinking about myself
I lay in his arms
My head on his chest
Alone in his house
We cuddle and rest

He kisses my legs
Soft and slow
Then pulls me in close
Afraid to let go

As his lips leave my mouth
I whisper "I'm cold"
He wraps my legs around his waist
Two bodies, one mold

-S.H.
This piece is about an intimate, passionate relationship I had with a past boyfriend.
At my autopsy,
Unfinished love poems to you
Found stuck in my throat
 Oct 2014 Patrick N
Jeffrey Pua
Where your happiness
Meant being happy--
That is my home--
Anywhere.*

© 2014 J.S.P.
Hmm
The doctor probed my eyes
stethoed to feel my lung
had my mouth wide prised
got rolled out my tongue!

He gave it deep long mulls
hmm was all he said
in his grip throbbed my pulse
beating fast afraid!

Hmm he muttered once again
there’s no problem specific
but for that undefined pain
that you say is making you weak!


More apparent is the darned thing
that has really blighted your face
beneath your eyes the black ring
you are counting stars I guess!

May I know what keeps you awake
why you find sleep bothersome
keep tossing on bed till daybreak
pray tell me don’t remain mum!


Poor doctor how he would ever know
best time for poeming is the night
when crystal dreams in moon glow
pour out from heart with might!
There are stories in your eyes.

I never told you how
sometimes I fell asleep
with the thought that you
were perhaps the moon-

always disappearing
with the dawn.
I would awake with
nothing
but the shape of you
on my bed and the
gloom of you on
my skin.
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