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The sounds of gunfire penetrate our ears,
Ive been training for this day for years,
My trusty steed below me never leaves my mind,
For he knows id never leave him behind,


A clap of thunder bellows the skies,
The glare of fear never leaving our eyes,
My horse is my shield,
The pain that we yield,
Sticking together through fiery fields,


My master is light so its easy to run,
But this journey is far from done,
Bullets have penetrated my side,
Im down on my knees,
Lost all of my pride,

Then he screams out in pain,
My master is dead alone in the rain,
I scramble too my hooves and try to get away,
But its too hard,
All this hurt
All this pain,
The last thing i heard on that dark winters night
Was the flare of a machine gun,
and im out like a light
The night hasn't came yet
But the light, I barely see them
How did I get here?
In this long dark tunnel
Alone
And it's cold
I found myself
Wrapped with nothing
But misery
Wonder if I would ever be free?

But
Do I want to be free?
I don't know
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I'm searching for
Is it freedom? Is it love?
Are those the solutions
To my problems?

I'm surrounded by darkness
So darkness I became
At first I thought I needed
Just some time alone
But
I came to realise
That I need it way too often

I don't hate everyone
I don't hate this world either
I don't know
I just feel like by distancing myself
Everything feels much better
It's just that
Life is so cruel
One moment, I'm the happiest girl
The next second
I found myself crying to some sad songs
One moment, it was perfect
But you know what they said
Some things are
Just too good to be true
Again, I'm an emotional wreck

It's tiring
I gotta admit that
But if I gave up now
What have I gained?
Nothing, absolutely nothing
I know I have to move on
I know I have to keep moving forward
And I will

But not now

At this crucial moment
I need some time alone
So just let me be
And don't even bother to come search for me
 Jan 2014 Patricia Tsouros
C A
I'm so alone now in this shelter as a cocoon
Empty and unholy
Insecure and maybe moody
I'm so unafraid now I've turned my guilt into a blaze
As I rage against the enemies I create
Its the path of freedom in this miserable escape towards happiness

I wasn't particular about the things that I expected from you
Just obvious with the what and when and where and how but never with the why
I knew the secret rules of boundaries and respect
Silence is a way to watch it all or twist it all, or hide it all
Silence was the one time you fell apart when all the other times you weren't too far from Hercules
I am angry with you, patient with you
I can't lose sleep over it
I'll just cry in terror
You can just sit there careless
I guess its times like these when you realize the things you want
And the things you don't

I'm unhappy
At this  very instant
But even most days I can muscle up the energy
I can focus on whats right and whats now and what can be
You can sit there drown in your solitude
because if you can't let it out and you won't let me in
Eventually the guilt from your kisses will be swallowed in acid
And the reaction of which will eat you alive
When I see you
I tend to smile
Not all day
But for a while
I watch you as you turn around
I remember every single sound
I watch you as you look at me
That’s when I see your beauty
I start to frown when you look away
I guess away is where you’ll stay
I go into a dreamy gaze
In my dream I was in a maze
Having you would be my prize
If I get you is a surprise
Right, left, forward and back
Trying to trace my every track
Boundary here boundary there
Boundaries located everywhere!!!
I touch the side I touch the ground
I try to locate every sound
I hear the birds start to cheep
I only hear one other peep
“Help me, Help me” I hear ahead
“Help me, help me if you can.”
I knew it was her I could only tell
It wasn’t the place nor the smell
It was the sense of my crush in fear
It was a cry only my love can hear
I try my best I sprint ahead
If I was not with you I might as well be dead
I turn the corner and I see
The brightness of her beauty
It's
bleeding rain,ripping through and
dripping out of the sky again
anyone got a
bandage?
...and Noah sails off in the ark....laughing insanely.
Strange strings of thought.
Thoughts of loyalty and love,
thoughts of friendship and of ambition
and my condition;
thoughts of submission of subtraction and addition.

Unravel the secret of the continent,
oh how you are persistent.
The road uncoils and I uncoil down the pavement.
Off i go.
Twisted days of golden glow.
Off I go, into the black hole
of the road.
It was a long fought battle
and I accept I lost
but the hardest thing to fathom
is the part of me it cost
I would have gave it gladly
a casualty of war
but now I see its sadly
just not worth fighting for
I flew this flag for love
but now its a white banner
my resolve left snubbed
because its not what I'm after.
I'm the perfect vessel to fill with your lies
I'd believe anything looking into those eyes..
Fool me so hard I believe my truth is false
But you can take my hand and make it all go away
Just hold me close and say you will stay
When life gets hard and bridges are burned
Where will you run?
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