when our paths crossed
at synchrony of calamity,
words penetrating my soul,
your existence a gravity.
a familiar presence,
a similar history,
we’ve been here before,
a past life mystery.
two weeks confined,
one enigmatic book,
our minds were entangled,
my heart was hooked.
my spirit was restored,
my life was reset,
our fated encounter
i will not ever forget.

size zero jeans
flesh colored seams
plastic containers labeled Maybelline.
if beauty is what’s seen,
and so will i be,
a prisoner, shackled
to the glamour economy.

it’s the elephant in the room,
it’s the wound that never bleeds,
it’s the joke that always lands
but only after she leaves.
it’s the exposed nerve ending,
it’s the unwarranted broadcast,
it’s my insecurity living
inside a house made of glass.

i am grieving and i am grateful.
i am scared to jump and i am hopeful i will land.
i am comfortable doing life alone with only myself and i dream of spending my life with the one whom i love.
every color exists
in equivocal harmony
within the rainbow
of the heart.

a storm rattling my bones,
and a silence paralyzing my exterior.
stories i keep locked away,
an electric code only i can decipher.
a truth solidified into flesh,
distrust molding my shoulders.
a fear of being misunderstood,
history repeats over and over.

you guard yourself
like my emotions
are nocked silver arrows
aimed at a truth deep within you,
one that you cannot bear to witness.

tidal nostalgia floods in
staining the sand beneath
each step i take.

i am in a waiting room.
for weeks i have lived inside these four walls of expectation.
hoping that one day, my name be called.
that one day a stranger might open that door, hook me up to some clunky beeping machine,
and tell me that i am alive.

i had to choose fear
so that i might remember
how to choose love.

you say you love me
like those words
are the paperweight
holding us down
amid bitter winds

take my words
for what you see
as they float down
a stream of propensity.
your mind is the potter
my words are the clay
the artwork you create
is not the message i relay.
it is up to you
to make this choice:
what will you hear?
of which voice?