I replay it in my head

L osing our temper
O verthinking
V iolent words
E xaggerations

Y ou walked
O ut the door
U ncivilly

S till, I wait
T omorrow you might come back
I leave the door unlocked
L isten to our song
L et it play over and over again

I pour another glass

A llowing myself to
L ose my mind
W ondering
A pologizing to myself
Y our voice in my ears
S uffocating my thoughts

W ould it have ended differently
I f I had let you win
L et go of my pride
L ooks like we'll never know

- p. winter

Akala'y magtatapos,
Sasapitin, kalunos-lunos,
Isang pagkakamali,
Naging bunga't sanhi.

Di nanaising mawala,
Ang tanging taong nagpakita,
Na di ako parating tama,
Na dapat akong magpakumbaba.

Walang iba kundi kalungkutan,
Ang tanging nararamdaman,
Pagkat ika'y aking nasaktan,
Buhat ng walang kwentang dahilan.

Di alam kung anong uunahin,
Pagpapasalamat o paumanhin,
Sa pagtayo bilang aking gabay,
Sa aki'y sumampal ng katotohanag tunay.

Ika'y biyaya nga ng Diyos,
Pagmamalasakit ay di kayang matubos,
Sa araw ng muling pagkabuhay,
Nangaral ng walang sablay.

Must I reject my God
because
the world's in turmoil?
because the world is
sinking fast?
Must we always make
excuses?
for what we know,
will never last.
In Noah's time, the
same was happening,
mankind's fate was
forever sealed;
the flood was greater
than man could cope,
in their sins they died,
never saved, nor healed.
And now the curtain
falls again,
will you escape its hell?
or will you die in sin?
like Eve and Adam fell?
Must I reject my God?
because
things didn't go my way?
because
no answers came
when I knelt down to pray?
I will fall for Christ alone,
and not for any man;
for worldly men of flesh,
they'll never understand.
Just what God is -
and stands for,
for the blood Christ shed
for all;
for His Power
and His Glory
is what makes us
stand tall.

What happens when you become the mediocre you told her to never to settle for. No matter the metamorphosis you undergo it never meets her expectations, she read my manual and saw in the future. She tells me I'm capable of being all that she's looking for. That's when I shut down on the inside because everyday the agenda changes and she'll​ never give home work, work sheets, nor practice test to instill the teachings from the other days, only just exams. You know the big challenges that supposedly made up of everything you learn, and if you having a bad day and malfunction before you can test your might, it just looks like you've done nothing. I perform fine on a daily basis but when I'm given test I don't consent to  the collections of 1's and 0's freeze which leads failure like cutting the red wire. I'm confused if she's performing the job of a teacher or hacker with this slow but swift buffer over flow attack. Every passing moment of me living with failure that file contains a MP4 of me in that moment making her mad like when Google chrome is unresponsive , a MP3 file of her telling me what I did that repeats over, and over and, over again. A gif of my heart breaking down to it's last megabytes, and a gig of her love lost due to my corruption. She's not the problem though, she's the spectator, and sometimes the controller. I just want to make her happy, make her buy in to me like how we did when I was glowing with change not keep her down with chains. My next step is to rip out my mother board and tell her program me, cause whatever my programming is, it isn't up to par with her. It's crazy what we as robots do keep what's real.

Once upon a time there was a boy named Iden
Nobody knew his real name
He stayed in his room, where he cried in
His body wasn’t right, what a shame.

“What a precious lady”, they said
He wanted to scream
“It’s a phase”, they said
He could only daydream.

The mirror must have a glitch
He was certain
The reflection caused an itch
Of what, it was uncertain.

It took me years
to fall in love with myself.
It was a foreign idea
throughout my childhood.
I remember the jealousy I felt
for the girls with flawless skin,
and perfectly straight hair.
I thought they were beautiful,
and they were,
but not in the most natural way.
I wanted to be the girl
who was beautiful
after rolling out of bed at noon
without any makeup
besides the mascara
from the night before.
I wanted to be the girl
who was effortlessly beautiful
without giving it a second thought.
I always admired those girls.
I loved the security
that radiated off them,
like the shimmer of sunshine
on delicately tan skin.
It took me years
to become one of those girls.
It was a slow process.
It took the shedding
of a society built for
flawless makeup ridden
artificially created beauty.
It took acceptance
for who I am without the mask.
It took forgiveness
for the flaws I was blessed with at birth.
It took years,
but I'm finally there.
I'm one of those
naturally beautiful girls.
I'm one of those girls
that could careless about shaving,
or washing their hair.
I'm a girl without cares.
I'm a girl in love with herself.