In a few minutes
You will have had your release
Your alone time
Your stress relieving time

And I will join you then
With different blankets and sheets
Different attitudes
Different emotions

But why act like I'm important
When I'm not the only one that sleeps
On your mattress
Against your skin

Why try to make me feel better
By talking about our life in big leaps
Learning and fighting
Marriage and children

I don't need consoling like that
No matter what I think I might need
Release of stress
Or just alone time

I don't need it

Everyone is so scared of me
Of my future
And my past
And everything in between

It's not fair that they get to plant
The single seed
Of their doubt
When I always said I freaking can't

Now my mind is no longer
In the clouds
Above the pressure
And my love growing stronger

No, now it's back to planet earth
Amidst the fear
The continuous struggle
Of questioning our love's worth

I know I jumped in too early
But my love
For everyone here
Is too much for this to be

Just another failure

Usually I'm pretty good with words
But you turn my vocabulary
Into something completely absurd
But not as bad as it could be

Like a fat kid to a piece of chocolate pie
Our lips were bound to touch
But with held hands and locked eyes
The desire was too ******* much

By the way, your lips are soft as hell
There really is no other way to describe them
And where we go from here is hard to tell
But it'll be a lot more fun than before then

(This is the part where I **** up the subtlety of this poem.)

Through text
We talk as confident playmates
Through voices
We talk as awkward soul mates

I lost an hour in your arms
But only the second hand moved
The restraint was unbearable
With the sight of beautiful you

But it was the best I'd felt in years

My heart-rate is unreadable
But for something I can't describe
This is probably just me being an idiot
Or just something I shouldn't advertise

But it seems like we dance around
The elephant in the ******* room
Just making sure our skin doesn't tear
When it touches under the sun or moon

I just can't ******* tell right now
If this is mutual or just in my head
A mockery of my emotional distress
Or signals that are correctly read

I won't be able to focus on anything
Besides my insides being torn apart
Should I feel bad about these feelings?
This situation demolishes my heart

I'll tell you when you pinched a nerve
Like when we talked that Thursday night
But is it OK if I'm still totally confused?
And only slightly filled with fright?

I crossed your imaginary line
We both knew was there already
Your precision of dismemberment
Always failed to surprise me

People say duct tape fixes everything
But hatred and regret work even better
My world has been built from failures
That come from every single ******* letter

The devastation
You left my heart in
Clouds my perception
Of forgiveness

The next time my eyelids touch
I better not see your face again
I've torn myself too ******* much
From our storm way back when

(This is the point where I lose my focus and just go to sleep)