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Jan 2023 · 320
stimulation
Påłpëbŕå Jan 2023
what are we if not calculative creatures
a dichotomous breed with in born bias,
struggling between believers and preachers
-we are sinful souls who aim to be pious
we claim to be depressed
and live to be impressed
craving profanity
while questioning our sanity,
we are suffering in the this hell
of paradoxes that challenge our intel
it's funny how we want touch
and affection oh so much
but we're afraid to open up and give
expecting other's hearts to help us live
we have voids and spaces too large
that nothing could ever in barge
thus we will end up alone
with our fates set in stone
we want to be stimulated, both physically & mentally
longing for someone to take away our ability
to think clearly or walk steadily,
confused because we don't know what we need basically
is it mere pleasure we look for
or something deeper do we implore?
covered bodies yet naked minds,
what is it that we are unable to find?
peace or chaos?
calm or applause?
somebody to awaken our deeper desires
or a superficial night of playing with fire?
i don't really know what's more important mental stimulation or physical fulfilment......neither or both? and if there's nothing, still is it worth being with that person?
what does it make me, eh?
Jan 2023 · 257
The Woman
Påłpëbŕå Jan 2023
i keep on looking for you in the crowds
behind the faces covered with coloured shrouds
but i see nobody like you
-a rainbow made of a new hue

you're nothing like the girls i've kissed
but something ethereal all along i've missed
i know that women like you are a rarity
still safe from the world's depravity

you're like the sun, so bright and full of light
maybe that's why your absence is like night
with no stars or meteor showers
no constellations or supernovas

you slipped through my fingers like water
and i was abandoned at our romance's alter
how did we reach this point, love?
when we thought that our feelings were above

you melted on my tongue and twisted my heart cords
a goddess in true sense, my gift from the Lords
and now i am nothing but a poor man with wealth
burning in the memories of how your touch felt

come back to me for i will rectify my mistakes
don't disappear on me like a snowflake
stay and give us one more chance baby
without you, my life's nothing but scary

-love
your man
i wonder what goes inside a guys head when he sees the woman he is interested in 👀
Jan 2023 · 238
dilemma
Påłpëbŕå Jan 2023
i always thought i had it all figured out
and there wasn't anything to think about
all i wanted was my skin to be branded
and liked it a little rough-handed
but craved the aftercare
where
you'd caress the marks that you painted,
my pale pure skin with your tongue you tainted,
and then you'd hold me in your arms
help my heart beat calm
so that i could sleep in silence
with my mind at peace
keeping away all the ugly violence
so our bliss-bubble won't be breached
yet today i have learnt that i can't have both
if you'll be tender you won't be able to control
this wild blood that makes me do stuff
that is even more harmful than "poison puff"

either you will be sweet and sound
or you'll be an anti-hero with hounds
either your love will make me feel blessed
or with me you'll be obstinately obsessed
either you will want to be gentle with me
or you would help me see
that i am not sick for harbouring these desires
even though burnt, it's ohkay to long for fire

and this is what i don't get
because if i let
you in with no out
all i will do is panic
making our budding romance tragic
because i am a living breathing paradox
built of a spectacular range of blocks
wanting to be tamed
yet afraid
if i set this passion free
i will drown in lustful seas
but if i chain it in
i will be faking
so what should i do i don't know
be like water that goes with the flow
or be the storm i was born to be
scarring yet surreal in all its serenity?
Jan 2023 · 207
-
Påłpëbŕå Jan 2023
-
i think of you in a way
that i am not supposed to
with myself i play
while the thoughts of you flood
my head- all day long
and now those songs
that are about steam and ***
are making pretty much sense

what is it if not attraction?
is craving your love, more than mere transaction?

because i want to make-out
under the starry sky and cuddly clouds
but then leave it there
somewhere
nobody will ever know of us
or about this hour of oxytocin rush

you don't look at me ever
and maybe belong to another
and that's why all i do is write
poems that you'll never read
so whatever this is, i try to fight

you too aren't worth the effort
like no guy was
but all i do is blurt
words that mean nothing to you
why is it this sad always
why is this the case
i wish i could simply be a machine
running on gasoline
with no feelings or desires
keeping myself away from liars
**** hormones

(title)
Dec 2022 · 302
eludevadescape
Påłpëbŕå Dec 2022
and what are we if not a bunch
who all have this hunch
to be happy for screens
yet miserable behind the the scenes
with deep-rooted longing for affection
yet living "no strings attached" because we're afraid of rejection
what are we if not pretty pretenders
posing in "black & white" even if we love lavender
netflix has become our reality
while we live in instagramic insanity
we're no longer doing what we like
we're no longer liking what we do
there's nothing that makes our pulse spike
"*** is happening" we have no clue
calenders' changing but our time still stays the same
is it a "happy new year" or we're all playing this game
where we're all trying to make our name
yet failing again and again
so we end up dope and drunk
and all our aspirations end up sunk
our hearts broken by our past still beat with hope
is it even love anymore or a mere scope
to get off with no feelings only feel alone
with a contact list of hundreds yet none to phone
depression and delusion
conflict and confusion
that's what goes on in our heads
all unspoken words wet our pillows with the tears we shed
we want money only to spend it all
some luxury so that we can have it all
it's so complicated yet so simple at the same time
we're killing ourselves daily and we still don't consider it a crime
this isn't a poem just a raging realization
is this how my life's going to be- a journey of elude and evasion?
Well, it's 27th December, 2022.
I hope 2023 will be pretty peaceful for you :)
Dec 2022 · 435
life
Påłpëbŕå Dec 2022
.
and our lives are so well
d                                               c
e                                               r
t                                               a
r                                               f
a                                               t
t                    ­                           e
s                                               d
ew erehw dne syawla ew
.
it's a cycle
Dec 2022 · 545
energy
Påłpëbŕå Dec 2022
are we all black bodies
giving as much as we take
like electrons in protons' company
creating energy by what we make
we attract only to repel later
we trust only to waiver
so why do we do things we'll regret
crying over all the time we've spent
it's so complex yet so simple
why does everything smooth has to have dimples?
Dec 2022 · 203
:/
Påłpëbŕå Dec 2022
:/
i am at a bad place right now
don't ask me when where or how
i wish i could ask how you are
about your journey and your scars
but if i open that door to you again
i guess all i will cause is pain
what if i only want to talk for a day
and then be okay going our separate ways
i am pretty needy, hormonal you could say
so with our minds i wouldn't play
be wise and never respond or initiate
and be not fine with all the wait
for all i am and all i will ever be
is ******* .l.o.n.e.l.y.
Dec 2022 · 232
all or none
Påłpëbŕå Dec 2022
if you want something
they say get it
what if i want it all?
from sunrise to fall
a galaxy and infinite stars
to set the ****** bar
go beyond and then a little more
to find out
the after and everything before
who was i
and what am i going to be
or a simple species in between
where am i and where will i go
is this the first chapter
or the last show?
Dec 2022 · 202
void
Påłpëbŕå Dec 2022
i want to reply, say something
but i am holding myself back
because i am scared of forming words
with emotions that i lack
this suspension feels good
this feeling of nothingness
in which my brain stops
filling me with emptiness
i was so full once
that i gave everything i had
but now what's left of me
is making me sadly glad
i like me better now
with not a single friend
just me, simply
waiting for the end
no anger left
no love left
no smiles formed
as if unscathed
i guess the scar fades when it heals
or is it just the cut that seals?
and underneath lie
a strong self hidden
guilt-ridden
waiting
to be better
like the last letter?
Nov 2022 · 197
MaDne§
Påłpëbŕå Nov 2022
i realized something when i was a teen
that i don't want a love that's sweet,
not something like a rom-com scene
with flowers and chocolate treats

i crave madness and craze
an obsession so still and strong
that his thoughts make me graze
my fingers to places that are wrong

the more i push him away
the more he makes me submit to his will,
that all my nights are his to play
with a mastery in twisted thrill

i want him to consume me
engrave himself on my skin
keep me bound yet set me free
in this profanity filled with sin

i want his rough hands on me
and his dark eyes on my soul,
for through his eyes do i see
how beautiful look i under his control

it's not something normal know i
wanting something so **** dangerous,
yet i feel that this broken guy
will be anything but treacherous

he will put my pieces back
and make me whole again,
because there's still something i lack
that has made me find pleasure in pain

i was always told how different am i
and this thought often made me cry
sick to my stomach because of my wants
i was afraid of what lurks inside the haunt...
.
.
.
and so i will leave this poem incomplete
just like i am
because with every ****** heartbeat
it's tougher and tougher to repeat-
"maybe i will find you one day
or else be lost forever,
because
i want it all
or i else i am okay with never"
all or none phenomenon
******* very much
to all the authors who write about such forbidden fantasies, you have corrupted me to the core
Nov 2022 · 172
graveyards
Påłpëbŕå Nov 2022
there are places in history
that shall always remain a mystery
for the world will remain better
if those pages of past won't flutter

there are people of a tense
that we can't think of without blurring our lense
so why go back to them and cause pain
to both our souls again and again?

some chapters shall never be opened
and some books shall always remain closed
for we bury certain parts of our hearts
in order to scratch and start

but the itch to dig our own grave
to turn for just one last taste
of the lips we shouldn't crave
is wrong and will always be waste

going back, dear reader is our ultimate ruin
because the more we time travel,
the more we discover truths
that shouldn't have been unravelled

once we ****** a part of our past
move forward shall we always
and even when the dark shadows cast
we should still get through alone that day

but foolish are we humans with super stupid brain cells
still wanting to read those old greeting cards
we jump into our own death wells
and thus keep stopping by those haunted graveyards
why can't past remain where it belongs, in the past that is?
Nov 2022 · 144
whore
Påłpëbŕå Nov 2022
a derogatory word says dictionary
an insult it is say
all the old books in the library
that i read the other day,

a closed mind and open legs
a desolate woman who sells herself
instead of choosing to work or beg,

the one found in brothels
and places no one speaks of
yet she's present on every man's intel
is something that makes me scoff!

why does "*****" sound so sad
but not when it is prefixed with "man"
is it because of boys who are bad
are fantasies of feminine future plans?

so dear reader ask you i
what does the word "*****" signify?
if you've ever been called one
to it, how did you reply?
Nov 2022 · 333
SuperWoman
Påłpëbŕå Nov 2022
half a page of hurt
and the other half of memories
all these words that i blurt
have you as my nemesis
what was i thinking when i let you in
or was i thinking at all
because since then all i have been
is a mess of flaws and falls
regret i deeply the moment i saw you
hate it when you smiled at me
because i had no clue
that i will be bound even as you let me free
why do i have this pathetic taste in men
since the beginning to the very end
some sing songs for me the others write
some make me feel good the others fight
some are direct as ****
the others simply try their luck
some want to be my forever
the others are happy with whatever
but all along i have  paid a hell lot of price
to be adored and attracted to is a vice
but you know what's even worse

-it's the inability to like someone who loves me and my ability to love someone who doesn't even like me

but one day no man will matter
none will i want to flatter
for i will be too busy making my dreams come true
so there'll be no place for the likes of you
and i will be the woman  who is-
super **** yet classy as hell
risen after everytime she fell
strong and stable
and extremely capable
-a  .s.u.p.e.r.w.o.m.a.n.
who'd never need a superman
Oct 2022 · 169
dark light
Påłpëbŕå Oct 2022
and as the world stood lit
on the terrace did i sit
admiring how darkness
vanished behind the bright
only to see the night confess
it's lust for the light-
"as in the dark stays hidden
like a ***** secret we remain forbidden,
his hands on my hips
his mouth on my lips
he pushes me into the wall
and makes me moan in the abandoned hall
for i melt under his sheer energy
engaging in an ****
letting him pull my hair and bite my tongue
then caressing the spot where it stung
he makes me crave him to the core
after him nothing feels like before
and now that it has come to an end
where black and white both blend
i scream in the gray
as he's gone his own way
and all i am left with are hickeys on my neck
rest everything is free of any speck"
from dusk till dawn
i willingly become his pawn
and now when the day shines
light forgets his faithful night
Oct 2022 · 131
empty
Påłpëbŕå Oct 2022
and sitting in a room full of people
i feel empty inside
a whole world of misery stares
behind a smile so warm and wide
that it hurts my face
and makes me feel sick
how could i be so stupid
for letting him do his trick
like magic he made me happy
only to leave me sad
how could i look for goodness
in a boy who only wanted to be bad
i always prided myself that i am better
for i won't let an ******* play with me
yet here i am today
with nothing but a turbulent-teary sea
hope kills
Sep 2022 · 457
fireflies
Påłpëbŕå Sep 2022
what are we if not blemishes in a masterpiece

growing and glowing through all that we receive

broken our are souls and dark our are hearts

yet we learn to be at peace with all our parts
we are like fireflies with unlimited illuminace because even after all the dark nights we still shine through all the blackness and i guess that's what makes us special
Aug 2022 · 232
your voice
Påłpëbŕå Aug 2022
i miss your voice
and how it sounded in my ears
for its not by choice
that i don't get to hear
i miss the way you said my name
for i only heard it twice
is time to be blamed
or is the distance paying the price
just say something and send it to me
so i can touch you even when i can't see
**** it.....i am missing the hell out of you man
Aug 2022 · 228
character
Påłpëbŕå Aug 2022
what does it make me
when i kiss a stranger?
let him have his way with me
because i crave danger?

what does it make me
when i wear a short dress
pair it with tattoos and piercings
just to express and none to impress?

what does it make me
when i like to have fun
with a cig or a drink
in my leather jacket and messy bun?

what does it make me
when i sleep with a 100 men
and don't wait for a husband
to break my ******' *****?

what does it make me
when i like to stay alone
love or date nobody
and be happy on my own?

what does it make me
when i talk to guys for hours
listen to their stories
and try to heal their scars?

what does it make me
when i post **** pictures
of myself in a red lipstick
with cocktails and mixtures?

what does it make me
when i don't want babies or want five
because motherhood is a choice
and not just a means to survive

what does it make me
a ****, a ***** or something more gore?
a pretty girl you'd love to ****
and be done with once you tuck?
or a pure little submissive
with whom you can be dismissive,
a good wife who's got no drive
and on your mercy shall she thrive?

what does it make me, eh?
it makes me whoever the hell i want to be
a replica of a celebrity or plain ol' boring me
for i don't want the society to be my benefactor
i am enough for me and my perfectly imperfect character!
i have been trying to write this poem for months now.......it's a topic very close to me and i am sure to many people around me......it's not just the girls who are judged, even guys are but i wrote it from my pov.......at the end its OUR PROBLEM......but we gotta live here and bring a change in this stubborn *** world.......and those who can't accept the way we are, well they can go and **** themselves.
Aug 2022 · 179
Remorseful Rain
Påłpëbŕå Aug 2022
Sat I next to the window of the car

Peering out of it into the clouds,

As my mind went a bit too far

Heard I him in the rain sounds.


The engine roared and the road started

With me in the back seat;

Tip- tap, peter-pat the drops imparted

The knowledge of his lost heat.


The music played in my periphery

Reminding of a time when,

‘Him’ and ‘me’ were a perfect ‘we’

-a love that was truly forsaken.


Every lyric that poured in

Synced with the sky’s song,

The nature was witnessing

How he left me alone in this throng.


From the first time we met to the last time he held my hand,

Our first kiss to the last time we slept,

All those moments from our dreamland

Came back to me as the heaven wept.


The drops on the window drew lines of lament

And my vision turned blurry,

Because our story was in fragments;

-the one that ended up in a hurry.


He threw himself down the cleft

Giving birth to a tragedy,

And now, all I have are words left

Of us, the rain and our past poetry.
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