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Chameleon Jun 19
Dog
The last few nights I’ve had dreams
about a little black and white dog
that almost looks like a stuffed animal
it’s so cute and small.
Holding its little warm body
in my arms filled me with so much
happiness.
It left me feeling empty when I woke up.
Chameleon Jun 19
Growing up
our dad was always
very excited to
see a rainbow.
It was almost mandatory
that you come
outside and oo
and ah at the glory
of nature.

This afternoon we
had a summer storm
that brought wind
and lots of rain.
But to my surprise
the sun came out.
So I got out of bed
and walked out the front
door and sure enough
one was forming almost
like a painting behind
the windmill.
I was excited,
I knew from the angle
of the sun that this one
was going to really shine.
I knew my dad
would be proud as I
moved around the porch
trying to get a
good photo.

It felt like a show at
the end of the day;
watching it form,
show off,
and then fade into
the air.
Chameleon Jun 18
Being alive is
making me
nauseous
Chameleon Jun 16
Bad
I’ve been asking myself
all weekend
if I’m a bad person,
and I think the answer
is yes.
Chameleon Jun 10
I peeked around the corner
to see if the bartender
was there and we made
eye contact so I
blurted out,
I’ll have another.

I probably shouldn’t
have another
because it’s 6:30 pm
on a Tuesday
that went completely
wrong.

Now I have to decide
if being completely
alone
is better than
being “in love”
with someone who
doesn’t see me
in their future.

I keep thinking that
maybe I can change
my mindset.
Be okay with a weekend
boyfriend,
just a guy that I care
about but not that much.
But I keep proving
to myself that
I can’t change.

I want someone
who wants me there.
Chameleon Jun 7
He made it clear
that he intends to
set down roots
in a place that
is barely enough
for one,
let alone two.
I noticed he avoided words
like “we” when talking
about the future
and I realized that I
still don’t fit in.
Chameleon May 31
I feel everything
intensely
so right now
my heart aches
but I have butterflies.
I can’t stop
thinking about his
big blue eyes and the way his
body feels against mine.
He even smells like safety.
We just spent the night
all over each other
but I’m seeing him again later.
We’ve only grown closer
and stronger over the
last year,
and definitely so in love.
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