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I know that you are not much for fate, or illogical conclusions or soulmates or any of that silly metaphysical stuff

And you know I’m not much for luck, or chance, or optimism or breaking legs or any of that silly superstitious stuff

But maybe that stuff is just the same stuff
And our things are just the same things
And we were a thing
That was meant to be

And maybe I’m crazy, that’s probably true
But only for you love, only for you
Love doesn’t bloom in just one glance,
At best, it sparks a sweet romance.

That spark becomes a silent call,
To know someone, to feel it all.
And slowly, softly, without a sound—
A quiet fondness wraps around.

A bond that time cannot erase,
It lives within a secret place.
It stays till death, so deep, so true—
That tender tie call love too.
She speaks in song lyrics and cursed memes,
in lowercase confessions and digital dreams.
He shows up like sunlight through tree branch cracks,
never all at once—just enough to come back.

They don’t talk about it.
Of course they don’t.
It’s a slow burn—
the kind where eye contact feels like shouting.
The kind where silence hums with
"maybe"
and
"don’t ruin this."

She loves him in margins,
in pauses between group laughter,
when he treats her the same as the rest—
and somehow that’s what makes her feel safest.
Not in the spotlight.
Not on a pedestal.
Just… seen.
In the quiet way that matters most.

She writes poems about him.
And songs.
And little sentences that break like waves
on the edges of her hope.

He?
He exists.
Maybe he knows.
Maybe he will.

And until then,
She sits under the weight of everything unspoken,
holding her heart like it’s
still deciding whether to whisper
or scream.
Dear [boy I wish I could send this to],

There are a hundred things I could say, and I’ve started them all in my head a thousand times.
Sometimes I think I’ll actually say them out loud.
And sometimes I just hope you’ll read between the lines of everything I don’t say.

But here’s the thing:
you make it impossible not to feel something.
Something slow, something wild, something like watching the stars blink to life when you didn’t even realize the sky was dark.
It’s quiet and loud all at once, like you.

I notice things.
Like how you talk when you’re passionate about something.
How your voice softens when you’re being kind.
How you never put me in the spotlight, but still manage to make me feel like I’m seen.
You don’t even know how rare that is.

I don’t want to scare you.
I’m not asking for anything big or dramatic.
I just want a moment.
A moment where I can be honest, where I can say:
I really love you.
More than I meant to. More than I can make jokes about.
Enough that I write about you, dream about you,
and hope maybe—someday—you’ll feel even a fraction of this about me.

But for now, I’ll keep this letter here.
Unsent. Unspoken.
Just… felt.

Love,
[a broken girl]
im such a hopeless romantic guys😭
I said I’d take it slow—
but my heart never learned pacing.
It jumps ahead,
writes your name in the margins
before I’ve even turned the page.

You’re not the loud kind of beautiful—
you’re the quiet type,
the “wait, who’s that?”
the kind that walks past
and leaves my chest buzzing like a cheap speaker
turned all the way up
on a love song I wasn’t ready for.

I try not to stare.
So I listen instead.
To your voice,
your laugh,
your "random disappearance thingy,"
like it’s Morse code
for maybe, maybe not.

You don’t know it,
but I write about you in lowercase
because you feel gentle.
Like a song I play at night
and pretend doesn’t mean anything.

I don’t need a fairytale.
I just want a chance.
To be someone you look at
like I’m not just another friend
in the blurry background of your life.

And if not—
well.
At least you’ll always live here,
between the lines,
in poems I’ll pretend aren’t about you.
It takes one look into your eyes,
and I can tell you're not alright.
The words you don't say aloud
lay heavy on your chest at night.
Every time you cry
I wish I was allowed
to give you a reason why,
a will to live, a will to fight.
I want you to be alright.

It took one look into your eyes
to know you would rise
high into the sky
after you said your last goodbye.
To the ones I couldn't save, and the one I still hope to.
Step 1: Smile.
Step 2: Forget why.
Step 3: Keep your voice steady
when your soul is not.
Step 4: Pretend it’s fine.
(Everyone else is.)

Step 5: Fold your feelings
into paper birds.
Set them loose.
Watch them burn mid-air.
Clap softly.
Repeat.

There is no final step.
You just keep going
until you don’t know
what breaking feels like anymore.
I
I
I
Am
Trying
To
Be
Nice
I
I
Refrain
Slowly im dragged again
Ķðiif
Now
Whatev3r
i told my friend,
it wasn’t like that.
we said — agreed —
this still wasn’t a date.

then you sat down
with a coffee,
making me forget
every careful phrase,
every non-confession
i’d whispered to my mind.

we wandered the city
until sundown,
as if we didn’t know
every corner of it.
and when the night
started to settle,
i offered you an out —
you had plans.
you just smiled,
waving them away.

neither of us knew
what we then began.

because i told my friend
it wasn’t like that.
but now i’m not sure
what i was trying to defend.
this one’s about the kind of almost that lingers longer than it should.
July 25, 2025
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