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61 · Apr 24
where love once lived
Jeju Apr 24
i hate the word love.
i hate it so much i say "i love you" meaninglessly now.
and i also hate being in love.
i loved once and it hurt.
i learned to un-love and how to lie in love.
but if only the world had held me back from what i'd eventually learn to hate,
maybe i'd give love another chance.
maybe i'd find that there is love that i can give to someone and it'd be sacred to them that they wouldn't discard it.
with old big hopes that no longer exist within me,
my heart has officially shut down.
and i like it better this way;
better off with myself.
Jeju Mar 17
i was angry at the whole world because you couldn’t love me.
i couldn’t bare myself to accept the truth,
the truth that i really was just unlovable.
and the worst part: i’m never the one that falls in love first - i just end up being a prisoner in love.
i was angry at the world for continuing to spin while i had to mourn.
why couldn’t the world mourn with me?
how could the world keep spinning when mine had stopped?
but i realized something…
i wasn’t really angry at the world.
i was angry at myself for having so much love for you that all this love had nowhere to go.
where am i to store all this heartache?

— The End —