i was angry at the whole world because you couldn’t love me.
i couldn’t bare myself to accept the truth,
the truth that i really was just unlovable.
and the worst part: i’m never the one that falls in love first - i just end up being a prisoner in love.
i was angry at the world for continuing to spin while i had to mourn.
why couldn’t the world mourn with me?
how could the world keep spinning when mine had stopped?
but i realized something…
i wasn’t really angry at the world.
i was angry at myself for having so much love for you that all this love had nowhere to go.
where am i to store all this heartache?

i don't think i'll ever stop thinking about you.
i miss when i would be the one you told first the exciting things that's happened to you.
i miss how it felt when you would hold me.
i miss your touch more.
i wonder everyday if you think about me too.
i wonder everyday if you miss me or if you've moved on.
i wonder if the distance between us right now hurts you too.
you are the only one i could ever love.

with every attempt i've tried replacing you with
other men and random people i have no intention of having a relationship with.
but still. i feel empty.
YOU make me feel empty.
the only adrenaline i feel is when i'm thinking of you,
when i'm thinking of when you used to love me and when i used to love you.
there's only one question i'll always carry:
what was it about me that made you fall out of love with me?
i still think of you.

my heart burns when i think about you.
since you've been gone,
sleeping hasn't felt right anymore.
eating hasn't been a priority anymore.
nothing feels the same anymore.
the heartache you've left me with is the only thing filling my wounds.
i want to forget you
but at the same time,
i miss you so much that it hurts.
i wish you had stayed.

my mind is full of memories of you... of us.
anything i do
everything i do
i'm reminded of you.
i'm reminded of what we used to be.
i don't know why i can't forget you.
i don't know why i can't let you go.
i wonder...
do you think of me too?
do you miss me as much as i do you?
or does the absence of me not haunt you at all?

you've left me with a pain,
i carry it everyday.
i only ever wanted one thing from you which was for you to
be there for me.
sometimes i wish i had been better for you...
when really you should've changed for me.
but who can i blame when i'm the one that played this game with you.
i wish i had realized sooner you were going to leave me with so much heartache.
if you hadn't left me, i would've continued to stay.
so thank you.
thank you for hurting me enough to where i had no choice but to leave too.

it's hard to believe anyone can love me with how you've left me.
to be considered once as lovable by you,
then to be drained and pushed away by you too,
made me realize...
was loving me hard?
or were you just too weak to see me for me?