difficulty strikes
and you run
turning tail
sailing away
far away

far away
no words could sway
your inner pain
support dismissed
kissed goodbye

hurt not yet realized
outer shell sterilized
showered in luxuries
surely you will someday realize
that little girl u beat
would grow up with inner heat

this heat would grow
growing never fading
the father who was never present
fueling that heat

are you honestly shocked I chose her over you?
she may be a *****
but she would never ditch
leaving because of disagreements
always staying

supporting
punishing
training
for the future
finer things not present
and not important
struggling but staying

you gave up the right
and the sight
of that scared little girl
growing into a young woman

oh! you think the way im being raised is wrong?
that's ok!
you have no say
she's doing a bad job is she!?
like you could have done better?
ha! that's funny!
you fail to realize I have changed
and you are to blame

that shy sweet girl is gone
never to return
ashes long since burned
makes your stomach churn
missing all these milestones

but you were absent
it may have been a god sent
that anger never present
personality never suppressed
all because of your issues

pregnant by 16 you say?
im smarter than you think
freedom doesn't equate to mistake
why make this complaint?
as if you cared

did guilt rear its face?
its about time you showed humanity
worry less about vanity
its harmful to your sanity
wishing for clarity

your absence not forgotten
used to strengthen
you were absent
u don't even realize
you will struggle worse that I
I have few memories of you
you will miss me
its not my fault you ran like a *****

This world is changing
Things are being misplaced
and yet Im still on the verge of hanging
I'm ready to get away from the edge
and get on with my life

Continuanlly, I still ask myself is it worth it
Instead of just getting on the edge and dropping
Would it be easy enough to just fall
To end all of my problems
Will hurt as much as being thrown into a wall

This sensation to end my life
grows stronger
because I continue to ask for that knife
I care no longer
I yell reaper come sir use that scythe.

I wait and I wait and I wait
I say reaper am I not worthy
Is this not my fate
I know I have sinned is that why you
torture me more than I can bare.

Make me suffer with this pain
this guilt
this overwhelming power
so I can die
and no one care.

Here I am asking for death
and you don't come forfth
I'm treated as if I don't matter why wont you come
rather its west east south or north
why won't you take my soul

Far away a voice so small
a raspy voice so rough
a dark figure lurks high and tall
a wisper a wisper is all he bares
I listen and I don't understand

What is that you say
Speak sir speak more
Is this not my day
Reaper just open that door
let me pass through to the afterlife.

I no longer belong
Take me to the land of which there is no return
Is it so wrong
Please lay me down to rest
Provide with eternal peace.

Then, I see that scythe
and i'm
there
no longer.

You could have had it
I placed my heart on my sleeve
Wrapped in barbed wire and chained
all but gave you the key
Never did I say you could tie my heart to a string
And use my emotions for a game

Maybe you couldn't tell
The way my eyes lit up when you entered the room
Bright as the sun when it's shining behind the moon
Hidden behind the smiles and perfume
Of a girl who ignores your existence

I was here
Everyday
When you wanted me close
When you pushed me away
Happily fine with being second place
And Daydreaming of being first

No more
Am I held prisoner by your words
Silently accepting this world I thought I deserved
I won't say you used me
I used myself