week 1 constant intense ***
week 2 slightly dimished
week three effort dissapears
conversation changes
everyone else is of higher importance
because u have alreay overcame the challenges and claimed what you fought for
texts dissapear
*** dissapears
except for in the movie in their eyes everytime another challenge walks by
and u are alone now together
dreaming of sleeping with other people
for the rest of your life

******* for using me

A sphere that no one can penetrate
Alone

god is just a memory where you need her to be

done giving my whole self to people that dont deserve it

nothing is eternal

a woman riding the beast

I dont trust anyone

starting to believe in none of this is real

nothing is forever

both of you really ****** me and u know i never deserved it

idk if i can take this anymore

past life
reunited love
nothing else

i dont trust you or anyone

maybe i already turned away what i needed

how is dark and where is god
approaching the end

u dont even know me
or make the effort

i really dont think this will work

all i want is real love ever since i can remember everything else  is a byproduct of trying to find this nothing else has ever mattered

nothing alive is breathing

change your password
keep to yourself

real love does not exist

never meant to feel happiness

u ask someone please tell me the truth
they lie to you
and thats all there is

i still dont trust you
something isnt right

i dont want to know you more than i do

people need what is not given to them freely
when they recieve it everything else diminishes into nothing and a relationship is born

i know things i cant tell u
if i tell u its on me and
i will never let it be that way

I can read your mind
You can read mine
What you built is not what you needed
And I’m still watching over your building

done trying im here now but you are not ready

terminally sad
in unending repair

no one will ever see u how u want to be seen

i love you sorry about all this mess

u know nothing about me

already dead u just dont feel it yet

even when im together im alone
no one sees this like i see this

starting to believe love does not exist

what is the purpose of anything
with everything that is dying

it all changes in the morning
what i was is gone
u need to embrace reality

i showed u sylvia plath for her head in the oven
not her words i youtubed hunter s thompson for the ashes in a cannon not the drug use

everyone can love and respect you in the world and it means nothing if the one you want too doesnt see it

begins to feel how everything begins to feel

is there anything else

idk why this is so hard for me

i see u just slide by
like nothing ever happend
like years never happend
like i never showed u life when you were empty
like u never took from me any chance of living right

terrible

reminding myself that every door I open is also an exit

u abandoned me at the darkest time in my life and for that i will never forgive you i always was there for you

why can no one be transparent
even when things are so obvious

U don’t know how to feel for another person it’s all self pity and a sickness in your stomach that you don’t want to feel anymore